dream job

at times I play with ideas
just the basic daydreams
there are the daydreams about what I would do if I won the lottery
there are the daydreams about me being rich and famous... rich and famous for what? who knows... I am just rich and famous perhaps like a bearded paris hilton
then there is the more realistic dream that I punish myself with
the daydream about what job would I hold if I could have any job in the world

some people dream about being a rock star
while I dream about more simple things
like converting an old ice cream truck into a rolling java shack
driving that truck around from dog park to dog park
driving that truck from toddler park to toddler park
selling over priced coffee and over priced cookies
make a few regular afternoon stops downtown
then go home and count my money
but that is not my dream job... that is just a daydream

my dream job would be working for the city or washington dc running the department titled Beautiful and Safe Streets
this would be a department that ignored all the bureacratic red tape and actually got things done

the objective would be to make the city more pleasing to the eye
while also taking into account ways to make the city streets more safe
when people think of keeping the streets safe they usually think about keeping the criminals from doing their thing
my concerns would be more around the ideas of slowing and controling traffic
although I am not adverse to the notion of the streets being safe from non-traffic forms of crime
since people are out of their minds and can not drive like civil human beings
then the roads would be altered to dictate the behavior of the drivers

in certain spots the crosswalks would be raised like a big speed bump
so no matter if there is a pedestrian there or not the cars would be forced to slow for the cross walk
not all crosswalks would be raised
just the problem ones
there are a number of crosswalks where the bike paths cross the road
most each and every one of these cross walks would be raised
as runner, hikers, and bikers have been stuck in a dangerous game of dodge the asshole in the SUV long enough

if the little ideas like speed bumps, narrowing roads, median strips and other such efforts do not slow traffic then I have some better ideas
shock colars or shock seats in the driver's seat would be issued to driver's with bad habits
the colar would be tied into the car's dashboard as well as communicate via Wifi to various systems on the street

drivers with cell phones would get shocks
speeding cars drivers would get shocked
those failing to make complete stops at stop lights and stop lines would get shocked
the level of intensity would apply to the level at which the driver breaks the law
there would have to an alternate to the shock colars for the types that enjoy such things
maybe ABBA over the stereo and the scent of roses would be enough to turn their stomach and change their behavior

adversive techniques work.....

but maybe not as good as shaming....
but that is for another blog


Jason said...

What would people who are drive, talking on cell phones, lighting a cigarette, drinking the overprice cup of coffee, not paying attention and swerving towards the cyclist get? Hmmmm I got me some ideas.

Later. Love you photos by the way.


pedalmaniac said...

I want a speed activated spike belt on my street.

gwadzilla said...

the speed activated spike belt that gives four flat tires to the speeding tyrant
be that tyrant police officer or ambulance
as their speeding is just as likely to run over a child blindly crossing the street just like any other speeding car

more damage for the greater the excess of the speed

pedalmaniac said...

I see you would like my plans.