I often ask myself... how do they let that happen?


I often ask myself...
how do they let that happen?
how do fat people get so fat?
people are huge
people are massive
people are awkwardly large
people are so fat that they are unhealthy

and I ask myself...
how do they let that happen?

this weekend while away with the family lisa snapped some shots of me and the boys on a floating dock on Lake Laura near Bryce Mountain
I looked at the shots with a bit of a shock
I am huge

I am massive
I am large and pale
how did this happen?

no I am not obese
no I am not exactly fat
compared to people who are skinny I am fat
compared to people who are fat I am not fat
I could be more thin
perhaps I should be more thin
to be quite honest... I thought I was more thin
not that I thought I was thin
but I thought that I was thinner than I am
and well... I am not
no... I do not know how this happens
yes... it helps me to be a little more sympathetic of others

to all the people whom I judged at the walmart today... I am sorry for judging you
to all the people who I acted better than at the county fair a few weeks ago... I am sorry that I snubbed you

we all see ourselves captured at our best
you know... the myspace photo
when actually... our appearance is something different
how does the mirror lie?
how did I not see my go from extra large to extra extra large?

illana the iguana took some shots of me from the cranky monkey number three
I wondered when I saw these if these were just bad shots from bad angles
then seeing the photos from this weekend I saw the truth
my gut is huge
my gut is massive
how did this happen without me noticing?
how did this happen without me doing anything about it?

not sure why
it has been a long time that photos of me depict the before and not the after