still dragging...

I am still dragging...
still coughing
still hacking
still spitting up phlegm
still battling this cold

I am starting to feel better
a little better
tonight I felt well enough to go for a short post work ride
pushed it a little harder than casual
but definitely did not push it
cause I was feeling it with degree to which I extended it

riding when sick is not always the best medicine
to over extend myself could make me more sick
to go another day without breaking a sweat on the bike left me at risk of going insane

so I rode
left out of work wishing the batteries in my blinking lights were not dead
so that when I yell at the drivers around me I can ask with greater question as to how they can not see me
but they see me
I make myself seen

when the traffic is backed up I split the lanes
when traffic is flowing
I flow with it and I take the full lane

so tonight I did a quick fifty minutes on the bike
just enough to break a sweat
just enough to know how weak I really am

got out and played Superman racing the train
got out and played Hemingway running with the bulls

it was good to get out on the bike
it is also good to get off the bike
there are other things stealing my focus
the time away from the bike only aids to make me appreciate the time on the bike that much more

just found out I need to do some stuff at work on Sunday morning
looks like racing the Capital Cross Classic is not an option
unless... unless
unless I get in and am able to knock my stuff out
then rush out to Reston with the bike on the car and my gear on my body
leap out of the car and onto the bike
but none of that is a consideration if I am not feeling 100 percent by Saturday
cross kicks my ass bad enough
one lap makes me want to quit when I am feeling healthy
one lap at race pace feeling like I am feeling now... well... not to say that it would kill me
but it would definitely make me feel like dying