Fall is here... school has started... soccer season has started

Great Idea up in Canada!
Remove the Ball from Soccer...


funny stuff... but sadly
that is the sentiment of so many parents in NW DC



I can not contain myself when I am in an adult social situation and I hear a parent tell me that their child has decided that they will not return to an activitiy

Do our children know what is best for them?
How informed are their decision making processes?
Is this how they feel across the board? or is this just how they feel at the moment?
do we let them decide what is best for them?

I would not ask my child if they want to stop eating vegetables...
and certainly....
what do you think the answer would be if you ask your child if they wanted to stop going to school?

true... not everyone needs to play soccer
sports are not for everyone

team sports are not for everyone
but the children need activities
if not soccer... then something else

that something else could be ceramics, guitar, or horseback riding... maybe even bike riding
there needs to be something other than the stagnant time that usually devolves into screen time

why offer up the simple question...
"Do you want to play soccer this season?"
the child may be responding just to end the conversation so they can get back to their iPad or their X Box
they are not coming to the parent with a list of pros and cons

but rather just giving a response at the moment

my boys have been doing Karate for years... it is a youth program... there is more to it than Karate
it is not training them to be Olympic sparing partners... but there is something being learned there
discipline, respect, and of course Karate
but... there are times when they are not into it and want to quit
well... I help them to fight back their demons and stick with it

when I ask them if they want to stop an activity.... I ask them during or after that activity
not before

their answer before the activity is usually different than their answer during or after that activity
that strategy has worked for us over the past many years


the easy way out for the kids... the easy way out for the parents

no activities would be so much easier for the parent
then the kids could get as much screen time as they desire
but... that is not what is best for the children
the children do not know what is best for the children
so... it is up to the parents to put the vegetables on the table... present them... offer them... and if they do not like that vegetable after trying it... offer them an alternate option... 
they need vegetables

lucky for me... my kids like vegetables
but if given the choice
the kids would eat ice cream and candy all day every day
that is why I guide them in their behavior
giving them choices, but usually giving them two choices I want
rather than the choice of what I want for them versus the choice that they want

this not wanting to do an activity happens when I introduce any activity
that is why I TRY to tell them what we are doing rather than inviting them to do an activity

so many times I get an idea in my head... we will hike the Billy Goat Trail or go to the National Aquarium... or ride bikes to the Airport
well... if I ask them... more often than not I will be met with objection
so... i try to rememeber to tell them
HEY! Get Dressed! Put on Your Socks and Shoes... WE are going to __________.

rather than being frustrated that they veto my suggestion
rather than being let down that I had this great idea that they do not want to do
I make the decision for them

I just told my kids to walk the dog... had I asked them they would of said no
there was some grumbling as they yawned and stretched

but they saw it coming

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