blogging

blogging is a great release for me
it frees up so much of what is trapped in my head
it keeps me from having to tell people so much they did not really need to hear
yet...
I am still very much a chatty cathy

with the passing of my dog rosoce I thought that the rational outlet of my emotions may be a journal
this being the electronic age I went the directions where I am already familiar

I have started to get some ideas out about my dogs, Roscoe and Brutus

here it is

http://roscoeandbrutus.blogspot.com/

playing through the good memories feels better than trying to figure out what went wrong in the final moments
this weekend is going to be a painful one
one week ago today Roscoe started his rapid decline

still living... just hurting

still living
just hurting

this is a face shot of roscoe
roscoe died
brutus remains
the photo does not capture his ability to connect with your eyes or your heart

last year I broke/dislocated my index finger and had to get surgery
then on top of that I dislocated my shoulder months later
there was lots of time off the bike
there was a lot of pain and sadness

the combination of those instances and those events do not fall into the same category as losing my buddy Roscoe
that answer to "if given a choice..."
no need to finish... I would take the dog

this has been one of the worst weeks of my life
my soul is howling at the moon
I feel all sorts of empty inside

this has not stopped me from living
reading and riding and wanting to race
the economist gives poor reviews to a book by a messenger that I enjoyed
matt types up the text from a piece in the economist about the demise of the messenger industry
there was a cpsc shimano quick release recall
I hate bill o reilly.... but he makes sense in the witch hunt against armstrong
(honestly... I am not sure on lance myself.... but disagreeing with bill o reilly is something I normally do)
dirt rag arrived today... great cover art
of course the tour

was going to race wakefield on wednesday... it got postponed and then canceled
been spending some serious quaility time with the family
trying to stay occupied
trying to figure it out
trying to grieve

I love my dog
the thought that eye contact will no long start a loud thump caused by a boney tail makes me sad
I miss that dog
I am missing a part of me

I need another glass of wine
as I am living
I am living in pain

(thanks for all the comments.... it really helps)

too sad to blog

gwadzilla is taking a break
will be back in a week or so
trying to deal with the loss of my dog roscoe

pictured above are my two dogs
Roscoe and Brutus
Brutus in Black
Roscoe in Gray

Roscoe and Brutus were brothers
born of the same Australian Shepard Father
and different Golden Retriever Mothers
eight years old a piece... in great health

this weekend past Roscoe became ill
lethargic and weak.... I took him to the vet
the vet ran tests but tweedle dumb and tweedle dumber were too busy ringing up the bill to figure out what was causing his long list of symptoms
he died late Sunday night... early Monday morning
Lisa and I were there by his side when he passed

I am in great pain

gwadzilla archive with some images of the dogs
scroll down this gwadzilla archive for some more words about my dogs

I don't feel like doing much more than crying right now

-gwadzilla out

am I just trying to sneak in the reflection

sort of creepy

watching that 40 year old virgin movie
the television is skipping'how annoying
not giving the utilitarian cyclist a good rap

on a similar cool or creepy side
here are some pictures of girls on bikes....
strange grouping
from the same source... some bike porn

dam
had a great site
lost it
too drunk to blog