1.20.2004

hmmmm
what happened this weekend?
so my sister inlaw (kathy) left for home (Pittsburgh) not talking to me
left without saying goodbye
well, my antisocial response to her ignoring me contributed to that
but there were many factors that built up to that moment
once she started to not speak to me, once I was being ignored
I took that as an opportunity to escape
my feeling, I wanted these guys to come down and have a good time
if they have a better time with me out walking the dogs or checking my email in the other room
well, I will cater to them and offer them a more positive experience


it is rather silly actually
well
her kids like the dogs; Roscoe and Brutus
well, three of her four kids under five like the dogs
(Carson is too young to care either way)
the cousins like the dogs sort of like dean liking the cat
they do not know how to behave around dogs
just like dean does not know how to behave around cats
(which I think is to just ignore cats and let them be)
so I am trying to keep the children from flopping all over the dogs
and when they do flop onto the dogs I make sure that the dogs do not over react
billy, a very spirited child weighing in at 60 plus pounds at 4 years old can be unpredictable
at one point Billy was looking like he is going to intentionally step on Roscoe
the routine with Billy is if you say "no don't do that"
he does it with great joy, he aims to displease
he has discovered that it is good to be bad
so while talking with others I just block his foot
he goes to kick again
I block it
now, my efforts may have been wrong
I should have verbalized my intentions and the guidelines for dealing with dogs
but, I am human, and well by this time the 4 cousins and dean had been swarming around me all day, and the day prior
so, my blocking billy's foot became a game to him, and he kept doing it
I did not mind it becoming a game
as it prevented any trouble between dog and child
well, I spoke too soon
apparently billy's mother thought my actions were inappropriate
she chewed me out and refused to talk to me the rest of the day
this was the second time I got attitude from her
earlier that day she was appauled by my lack of prioritizing Santa in Dean's holiday experience
(I will aid in perpetuating that myth, but I do not need to instill it or create it, his natural surroundings will handle that just fine)

in short...

when in a family group situation I feel that disciplining a child can be the duty of any parent present
that is not to say that I would hit another person's child, I would not even hit my own
nor would I be as firm in discipling another person's child
but I do think that certain behaviors should be stopped, and the inappropriate action should be discussed
especially if a child was doing anything unsafe, then I would take it upon my self to calmly approach the situation

with any child this can be frustrating
with a highly spirited child this can be real frustrating

Billy is off the charts for highly spirited children
he can not keep a deal or a promise
his actions are understandable, he is acting out
he is striving for attention, he is the oldest of 4 kids under 5
the baby demands constant attention, the twins are less than self sufficient
so he obviously feels that negative attention is better than no attention
so he can often behave inappropriately

one on one he can be an angel
he can also be a devil
but he can be an angel, I try to get him away from the crowd so that we can connect
it is not always easy or fun
but when he does behave it is a great relief and quite a pleasure

with that said
this was a weekend with the best intentions
we had all looked forward to having the "cousins" visit
Dean loves the cousins (and of course so do I)
but a house with that many kids can really cause some anxiety

note to self...
do not have 4 kids
especially that close in age

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