2.14.2005

tangents, small world,
and what should be happy days can be sad and lonely days

sunday morning as lisa walked roscoe and brutus in the woods of Rock Creek I entertained dean and grant

dads do it differently....

the story of Mr. Mom or an episode of the Simpsons where Homer is left alone with the kids all fall too close to home
in minutes the house is a wreck
children's clothes have been swapped for bathing suits and halloween costumes
the sink rapidly fills with dirty dishes
the dogs go from being pets to being wild animals
food gets splattered on the walls
the children are eating the baby food
and
the baby is eating the dog food while bathing in the dogs' water bowl

immediately there are Lincoln Logs and Legos everywhere
matchbox cars litter the floor and cause great pain when stepped upon shoeless
all of the cushions are off the couch
all the spare blankets are out of the closet
dean and grant roam through a labrynth maze of pillows, blankets, children's chairs, and the sofa cushions
the cushion fort or the cushion maze usually stand for a few minutes
unlike the cardboard boxes and duct tape fort that stayed in our living room for months
it is a process of me building and the boys tearing it down

in between cushion, pillow, and blanket construction projects I scan the internet for random information
something that does not command my full attention
but something that entertains my Adult ADD
electronic tangent takes me to electronic tangent
some tangents more interesting than others

in my tangent traveling I occassionally make a comment
usually I just breeze through without a word
on Sunday morning I stumbled in a Blog/Website about the local music scene
for whatever reason, perhaps it was the authors name being joel I was compelled to leave a message
later that day joel emails me back
the real world and the electronic world once again prove to be very small
it seems that that joel is married to a women who this joel (aka gwadzilla) went to grade school with.....
the world is too small
that is a random connection

after I posted a comment
the other joel emailed me back
turns out other than both knowing stephanie
both our families drive VW Passats
both of our families have two children (although they have girls and I have boys)
both joels are bald
and
both joel's are loser enough to find email entertaining on sunday morning, sunday afternoon, and again sunday night

since then joel's wife and I have had email correspondence...
it is a random connection that brings amusement and pleasure

today being Valentines Day and making contact with someone who I knew from second to eigth grade brings back many memories....

being unpopular can be sad...
for the most part it is a liveable pain
for some it is just everyday an everyday that we learn to endure
yet there are some days that are clearly more painful than others...

not having someone to drink with on St. Patty's Day
not having someone to kiss at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve
and
not having someone to "oohhhh" and "ahhhhhh" with during the fireworks on the fourth of July
all of these can bring lonelines and lack of popularity to the surface

as a child Valentines Day had that same potential for a painful reminder of one's lack of popularitiy

children can be mean
children are mean
children are mean even when they do not intend to be mean

I can recall on Valentines Day as a child that there were some students in my class who got a disproportionate amount of Valentines Day cards
then within the selection.... there were always cool cards in the variety pack and uncool cards in that same variety pack
my collection of Valentines Day cards was always a selection of very few cards... seldom were these cards the coolest from the pack
these things do not go unnoticed
these things are rarely forgotten

a party may happen on a saturday
but if there is no whisper of it on friday then it may go unnoticed until all the popular kids are retelling the events of the day on monday
if lucky the uncool or univited can escape without hearing that whisper
but on Valentines day.... the stack of cards versus the handful of cards can be visible by everyone in the class
the incestuous in crowd
they had it all.....
on days like Valentines Day the obvious became painfully obvious
no more ignoring the lack of popularity
no more rationalization
just the facts

enough with this therapy session
I am over it
actually I quite enjoyed my loniness
it prepared me for life

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