3.14.2005

space... it is important to know when to give people space

when I was young and single I remember trying to share some unsolicitated advice with a friend as he tried to "score" with a little hottie at the Green Door (a bar, the only bar down the road from our college)
he was doing pretty well... but it was obvious that he was suffocating her
he was working overtime blocking and deflecting any and all suitors that breezed by her
in my mind it made more sense for him to give her some room to breath
for him to move about the bar and mix and mingle with his friends
it was a bar filled with college students... most of which he knew as he had graduated from this school the year prior
he was well known and well liked and to me.... it seemed like it would be good for him to have her see others see him
it was also of my belief... give her some space... if you give her some room and she hooks up with someone else.... well... just as well... she is ready to go home with anyone
and who wants to go home with the girl who will go home with anyone or anybody
my friend went off to shoot some pool, won a few games and lost the girl
she ended up going home with someone else
he was bummed
turns out he wanted to go home with the girl who would go home with anyone or anybody

space... it is important to know when to give a child some space

one of my prior rants had a comment from an old friend from grade school
in this comment Helder spoke of how he likes to give his son some space when he watches a DVD

parents can be protective of their children
some parents can be over protective of thier children
at the toddler park it is not uncommon to see parents hovering over their children
breaking up any potential fight before it happens and spotting them as they climb the monkey bars
it is tough as a parent to step back and find a healthy balance

there are times to give your child space and there are times when it is important to give them support and guidance

with a son that just reached 13 months today and another son who will be four in june I deal with my involvement and interaction on a case by case basis

Dean swims like a fish... his comfort in the pool would boggle your mind
all of this while he is wearing a life jacket
it is too much to ask for him to try and swim without a life jacket at three and a half
but yesterday when he asked if he could swim without his life jacket I had to give him some space
we were already in the water
as I walked to towards the side Dean doggie paddled at my side
as we got closer to the steps I looked him in the eyes and stressed that he is never to go in the pool without his life jacket... that he is never to remove his life jacket while in the pool
then I removed his lifejacket
with him in my hands I tried to test his balance
then let him try his little doggie paddle "sans" life jacket
sure enough... he sunk
it was neither dramatic nor was it traumatic
he just slowly sunk to where his feet hit the ground
before he could had a moment to struggle or panic I took hold of him and aided his head above surface
I explained to him what had just happened
then we tested the waters so to speak
with Dean now vertical we tested his abliltiy to stand in the shallow water
with his efforts to tread water and his leg extended to "tippy toes" he was able to bob above water

there I was... two feet from him... never a second out of reach
my eyes would not blink
this was not a time for lessons hard learned
again I tried to aid him in his stroke and his balance
as I am not a swim instructor we moved back to the life jacket for the remainder of our pool adventure
again stressing the dangers of the pool and the rules of always wearing a life jacket when in or AROUND the pool
the beach is a little different....
I am torn as to whether or not to have him wear the life jacket while we run and play on the water's edge
this season we have not had him wear the jacket unless we know we are headed into the water (the Gulf of Mexico)
it is not a matter of what people think
it is a matter of calculated risks...
the water is cold and he is not as drawn towards the surf as he is to the pool
but there are moments

there has to be a balance...
a helmet on a bicycle?
oh... post definitely....
a skateboard without pads? he is three and a half... as much as he asks... as much as I want to buy him... I am not buying him a skateboard... yet
balance must be learned... he is not riding his bicycle without training wheels.... the skateboard will happen... injuries will happen... but they do not have to happen today




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