7.19.2005

bumper stickers, personalized plates and the identity of the driver
yes.... it is true I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder
sure.... I have become a bit of a grumpy old man on the bike
working some sort of Andy Rooney sense of things
always looking for the next thing to complain about
only my complaints tend to circle around the bicycle and how the world treats and responds to cyclists rather than the cost of Penny Candy today and when Penny Candy actually cost a penny

with this chip on my shoulder I always take a look at the make of a car, the car driver, the tag, and any bumper stickers that may be on the passing car
once the car has passed within inches of my life
I then deliver the appropriate message of hate!

that person becomes the ambassador of their people...
people from Illinois become FISH (Fucking Illinois Shit Heads)
people from Massachuetts are of course MASS-HOLES
then all the conservative states get a shout out as being RED STATE FUCKS
you get the picture

Rainbow Stickers get a tailored response
the religious fish people and the pro-lifers get a mouthful
everyone gets a mouthful
priest?
nun?
no one is safe
especially if you are running me down on your way home from Sunday Mass!
my feeling on this.... skip church and be a better person
going to church and still being an asshole does not even let you break even

then there are those with the Kerry/Edwards Bumper Stickers....
to them I always think...
"the sticker says Kerry... but the driving style says "W" all the way"

then there are the other athletes....
I do not want to have words with someone and hear the words... "I ride a bike too..."
NO YOU DON'T!
you own a bike
you ride a bike like I play guitar... NOT AT ALL! NOT VERY FREQUENTLY! and NOT VERY WELL!
on top of all that...
why can athletes from other sports empathize?

just this morning some old guy came out of the Potomac Boat Club and passed me fast and close...
take a look in the mirror asshole... you are acting like a power boater
your behavior is no different than the jet skier making a wake and ruining your day out on your little row boat
yet somehow you don't get it!
transpose the situation
try to be more complex.... or do I need to rent a jet ski to exemplify my point?

same goes to all the other athletes out there....
think about it
give people some respect
give people some space
you are passing the human form while exceeding the maximum speed designated for that stretch of road
that by my logic would fall under wreckless driving
reason enough to revoke your driver's license
think about it


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