7.14.2005

parenthood, just like the movie
this morning my older son Dean asked one of his questions from The Book of the Four Year Old
this morning Dean asked if his grandfather would still be his grandfather when he got "bigger"
with little explaination I told him yes and that his grandfather would always be his grandfather
there was no qualifier about as long as he lives or anything like that
as that is a topic well worth avoiding
death is a difficult concept for adults...

this question brought to surface a similar somewhat inverse relationship
the relationship between father and sons
more specifically the relationship between me and my two sons
this too is a relationship for life
as long as we all live I will be their father and they will be my sons
which makes for a lifetime of worry, care, and concern
and
hopefully some reward, joy, and pleasure tossed in from time to time

being a father is not so easy as baby proofing the house then bringing the baby back from the hospital...
just because a toddler has been told to stay away from the electrical outlet and finally outgrows that fixation does it mean that there should be no future worries on that issues
the child's interests will grow and change
the danger will present itself again and again throughout their lives
the father (and mother) must always be monitoring their child's interest and curiosity
I remember shutting down the power in our whole house and melting down the tips of some very large industrial size sissors by putting them in a lamp where a bulb should have been
no injury
but it did throw me across the room and scare the shit out of my father
like a foolish child I was more concerned with my father's yelling at me than the potentially fatal outcome of such a foolish experiment

the things kids try
the things kids do
it is amazing that anyone lives to be 13 years of age
all the things done and all the things that go wrong
all the crashes and falls that only leave a scrape or a bruise
all the projectiles that glance away from the eyes
running with sissors is a legitimate danger

this Death in Idaho
or this death in NJ
then ontop of the dangers a child can bring upon themselves
then the dangers of the world.... speeding cars, abduction, and teen on teen violence
so much for a father to worry about

there will be broken bones and concussions
such is the path of life of a boy
which makes the path of life of the father to be a journey filled with worry, care, and concern


on a side note
Dean was having trouble with a few abstract concepts...
me being the youngest of three he had a hard time understanding that I am the "baby" of the family
in an effort to clarify that... I tried to explain that uncle Marc is my big brother...
but
I am bigger than uncle Marc....
concepts to come
we need uncle Marc to come over and give Dean a little pep talk about being a good older brother
it is a big responsibility
a responsibility as the baby of the family I never experienced
but
I did reep its rewards

coffee gone
time to walk the dogs in the rain and head to PT

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