11.02.2005

Another Speed Bump in my road of life...

yesterday while riding home on my new cross bike I headed for some urban trails
the new Specialized Tri Cross Comp was feeling fast and light, even with my beastly body upon it
on the city streets I cut lanes and moved briskly through traffic
cornered with speed and confidence
worked my way through Georgetown then into the woods
I rode a few short fireroads up and down and then dipped into some single track
no great distances
just a small sampler platter tucked into this urban dwelling
on a moderately technical section that rode like cobble stone I took a spill
I was out of the saddle sprinting enjoying the pleasure of a new bike
not sure what... but something sent me catapulting over the handlebars landing was ugly
over the bars onto the ground
not sure if I was over compensating with my right side to protect my previously broken and surgically repaired left hand
but I do know it was ugly and painful
in the process of breaking my fall I dislocated my shoulder

dislocated my good shoulder
not my left shoulder that I dislocated several times before surgery over 15 years ago
but my right shoulder
maiking my good shoulder my bad

there was a second of denial
the pain and inmobility of my right arm convinced me immediately that my first assumption was correct
that my denial was undeniabley wrong
in a dramatic Platoon-esque moment I knelt on the ground, looked at the sky through a patch of trees, and screamed
a thousand thoughts went through my head
there was Nancy Kerrigan moment as I looked to the sky and questioned, "why me... why me?"
there was the... how am I getting home question
there was the immediate depression of the time off the bike, the weeks and weeks of recovery time, and the things I would not be able to do with an isolated shoulder

there was no time to feel sorry for myself
great pain, but no tears
I was still several miles from home and in the woods

so I crouched into a ball and attempted a "kayaker's trick" my brother had shown me
in my head I scanned for the moment in time my brother had displayed the procedure
anxiously I excecuted the kayaker's shoulder repair trick
with very little effort and a little more pain my shoulder went from extreme pain
to significantly less pain
I checked my shoulder
it felt in place

still fueled with adrenaline from the crash and the injury I mounted my bike

for a second I felt fine
there was soreness and pain in my shoulder
but I was riding
I rode the trails stalling and dismounting for the more technical sections
dismounting and carrying where I feared risk of greater injury
for a second I imagined going home and going about my life without a trip to the hospital

as I rode I thought about me and my injury
there were questions about god
there were questions about karma
there were many questions
in the end I resolved it to this
if you trip on the sidewalk you risk skinning your knee
if you are a soldier in Iraq you risk getting a bullet to the head
and
if you are a cyclist... you risk crashing and suffering one injury or another
never is there a time for the hand of god to intervene
that is not how things work
my mom would like to claim that it could have been worse without prayer...
but I feel that this happened
there was no hand of god lessening the blow
such belief in prayer is a tad supersticious for me

why me?
inactive people do not risk injuries caused by activity
until this year... it had been well over a decade since my last cycling related injury
not bad odds
I will accept the trade off

so much for Cyclocross Season this year
back to calling around to try and get an appointment with a Orthopedic Specialist who will point me to a rapid recovery

No comments: