Anger 2.0: trying to reset the defaults

okay, enough
time for me to get into my system and reset some of my settings
my Anger 2.0 may need to be upgraded to Anger 2.1
seems that too much angers me too easily
my settings are set way too low

the cars this morning that ran the red light at the top of the hill leading down my street
sure it was rainy and wet
but they are just fine going 45MPH in a 25 Zone with me with my dogs at one side and my four year old son at the other
that should not anger me

the cars parked in the bike lane
the cars tailgating me
the cars cutting me off
like the water rolling down their windshield
I need let this all flow away
no need to cuss and scream at each and every car and bus
that Florida redneck... he don't know no better
that Jersey asshole... he is just fullfilling his nature
that FISH... f_cking Illinois Sh_ithead... that is just how they drive back home
just let them go
they along with the Diplomats and the international transplants are just acting on the in-sensible sensibilities of their homeland

just as my anger settings need to be adjusted in my now new and improved Anger 2.1
I also need to alter my default settings for what is yelled and what is screamed
it seems that the "c" word is not fitting for any and all... it should be reserved for those that deserve it
instead I did a FIND and REPLACE for the "c" word with the word "sunshine"
that seemed to work
although the fat f_ck that tailgated me down Conn Ave. got my sometimes favorite "obessity epidemic"
with the removal of the "c" I got to yell and the blue haired woman with the blue haired dog out pooping on the sidewalk does not need to adjust her hearing aid

already feeling better with thing set to a more moderate level
can not wait for my next long road ride where I can be less effected by the ignorant assholes around me
can just do my thing
rather than acting like a pinball machine that tilts when it is brushed against

the car drivers just do not know any better
they are unable to put a human element onto the cyclist
in order to stay safe and alive I need to give them space
and keep my fingers and my tongue to myself

the upgrades have not fully propigated through the system quite yet
there may have been a few utterances of the "c" word this am
but something about someone running me down just sort of pisses me off


Anonymous said...

I need the 2.1 patch. I noticed if you have to yell at another offensive driver, using a heavy British accent helps. Something like "waats ya big fancy hurrry then?" I'm telling you, the redness just melts away, and the look on the dickhead's face is great. Reliving it with a laugh beats getting pissed all over again.


pedalmaniac said...

Where did you get this upgrade? I still have the anger 1.0 running.

gwadzilla said...

I will try the British Accent
as far as the upgrade goes...
hug your kids that may erase your Anger 1.0 application immediately
tomorrow AM back on the bike
the third asshole may cause an automatic install
at this point you should have ANGER 2.1
there are some patches and upgrades that you can use
but most of them are not good for adults
they involve letting the air out of car tires, keying paint jobs, and breaking headlamps
I do not use any of these ad ons
but... I can understand why someone would go for the complete install

placeholder said...

I think you need a vacation, a yoga class, a bubble bath?

rickyd said...

Not sure if you know him, but my buddy Ashmore was hit by a car. Take it easy out there. Even a 98 lb weakling can feel like a bigshot behind the wheel of a 3000 lb gas-sucker.

gewilli said...

it takes a bit of Zen... but wave and smile... and in a positive manner yell Thanks!

I catch myself yelling but... then i think what if i was walking down the sidewalk with my little girls... would i want them to hear some Anger 2.1 level cyclists swearing at some oblivious F*ck in a car? Nah... it works for me sometimes...