sometimes I wonder...

Yehuda Moon and the Kickstand Cyclery

sometimes I wonder
most of the time I don't...

tonight over dinner my wife lisa told me about a converstation she had earlier evening
the words made me wonder
there was a sinking feeling in my stomach that I had done something wrong

lisa and the boys took the dog for a short hike while I worked late
they did a portion of the trails across the street
apparently grant returned to the recently fallen tree
the tree that we clipped the branches off so that people could crawl through and over rather than trying to go around
while the boys played lisa spoke with another dog owner

the other dog owner, a woman with a three legged dog, spoke of a man with two similar looking children
a person who works on the trails
she spoke of this person and his work on the trails in such a negative way
she spoke about me

I was not there
I did not hear the conversation
the short tidbits that I heard made me think
these words made me wonder

some of what was said did not bother me
as some of the actions she complained about were the actions of my friend the copy cat
she spoke about the knocking down of trees... trees that are animal's homes
well... I do not knock down trees
knocking down trees is not what I do
I know that animals live in the trees as they slowly die, decay, rot, then fall
I only drag fallen branches to do the work that I do
it is the copy cat that knocks down the trees to do what he does
and what he does is similar but different

I have been on these trails for years
over the years I have witness the decline
I have witness the number of trail users multiply
at one point I decided to try and slow the decline
slow the impact of the hikers and slow the impact of the excessive run off during the slightest rain

each year I pick up over a dozen trash bags worth of trash
but I figured that there was more that I could do than pick up trash
so I began some rogue trail maintenance

there are the points where I block the creation of a new path
aid in the creation of a switchback
try to guide trail users to stay on the path so that the area around the path can flourish
there are spots where my logs aid to terrace a trail that is too steep to really be a trail
my effort is not so much to stop things.... but to guide things

a several short steep little hills that were being eroded bellow the fertile topsoil are now terraced
easier and safer for walking
slowed decline of the trail
seems like an improvement

when a tree falls in the forrest I do not write my congressmen
I try to pull the fallen limbs out of the trails path
dragging limbs out of the way
if I can not be moved I try to make it passable
if people are forced to go around the obstacle
I try to guide it such that all trail users take the same option around

I will admit
I do know
my actions are not approved
I do not have a stamp of approval from the powers that be
but... if the national park service were maintaining these trails
well... I would not have to do what I do

over the years I have seen the effect of the hikers, the dog walkers, the runners, and the occassional biker
I have seen how my anti-erosion efforts have slowed the flow of water and caught fertile top soil
I have seen trails rebuild after I have blocked the hikers from taking the girl scout route
and I have seen the beaten path grow to be more beaten so that it is easier to read

that is the basic premise of my defense
I rant here
because I do not want to rant to my wife and because I was not there to defend my actions myself
perhaps I will meet this woman and we can walk together and discuss how things were and how things have become
she can see how my actions have been a positive impact on the trails for both the woods and for the people who use these woods

or she will be stubborn with no intention of seeing any perspective other than her own
which is more than likely the case
in which case there will be no walk and there will be no discussion
my lips will be sealed and my ears will be open
I will listen with arguement
because an arguement will only strengthen her feeling against me
no... if we can not talk than her mind is already made up

I see her point
I just do not agree with her on all points
while there are some things we would agree upon
more than likely we both feel that the trails are rapidly declining
the difference is that I am trying to do something about it

gwadzilla rants about the copy cat
it did give me a sick feeling in my stomach
because I take so much pride in my efforts
my trail efforts are my gardening
in my mind I thought it was clear that I was aiding and assisting
making things more positive
but apparently not everyone see the world through my eyes

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