I have never been to Hooters.

it is true...
I have never been to Hooters

perhaps it is because the urbanite in me thinks he is above it
or maybe it is where I am from... where I grew up
Hooters is not even Rockville... it is Gathersburg or Germantown... and well... I am from Bethesda... Bethesda is above Hooters
I feel I am above Hooters

above the quality of the food
above the notion of a woman hired to be sexually harassed
yet I totally understand the business model
in fact I subscribe to the formula

while in Catonsville for a few days for some classes I stayed at an old college buddy's house rather than do that long commute from DC to Baltimore for these three days
Lisa handled the kids and the dog alone while I attended these training sessions for work
one of the nights after a quick zip on the cyclocross bike around the fields by Rockburn we decided to go to Ellicott City for dinner
the Ellicott Mills Brewing Company was our top choice

I had not been to the Ellicott Mills Brewing Company but I liked the looks of the place
the menu was nice... a little more pricey than a pub... yet quite appealing
in the end we would learn that the quality of the food merited the cost as well did the setting

the atmosphere or should I say ambiance danced well with the "nice restaurant" prices

while having a wonderful meal and some tasty beers we had the pleasure of being serviced
OH NO! not like that... neither of us were serviced
oh my... not serviced at all... we were both served... or table was served by
we were served by a very attractive woman... very pleasant woman who was pleasing to the eye

as we waited for our first beer we reviewed the menu
after deciding what I was going to order I smiled as I saw some of the other waiter options
we scored on the wait staff eye candy
thinking back I should have drank my water faster so that she was forced to make more trips back to our table
another beer would have worked... but I had a six pack of Natty Boh that cost less than one of these fancy brew pub beers

there was no great connection
there was not even any real exchange
yet I enjoyed having her as our wait staff when our order was taken and when our drinks were served
oh... yes... I could not help myself... I had to ask a question or two
I did ask what she was for Halloween... hearing that she was a Police Officer
oh man... woman and the Halloween costumes of the modern day
I did not ask her about her costume... but I could imagine... in fact I did imagine
knowing that she had handcuffs was enough

I thought about hosts and hostesses
then waiters and waiters
the thought that we want them to be a certain type of package
to carry a certain persona

how we like our wait staff to be attractive... attractive... witty... interesting... and efficient!

then I thought about tip
in a very Larry David sort of way Snoopy and I discussed the discomfort to the tip
how the tip should just be included... how the whole 15 or twenty percent thing can be so awkward
we agreed that is was just too subjective
subjective and unfair to both sides

poor service seldom gets a poor tip
for some reason that has slipped from the accepted measure of the equation

enough on this... I hear my wife downstairs walking in the door with a some pizza from Vace
maybe next chance I get I will go to Hooters

Hooters Hall of Fame!

that police officer pictured here not a good representation of your waitstaff
she was a brunette and had a less obvious yet still obvious appeal

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