shaken not stirred...

I am tired and need a nap
currently not napping because of multi-SCABBLE games on FACEBOOK and this rant on BLOGGER
I need to listen to my body and rest after a travel weekend
the boys are playing with some friends... I need a nap
jet travel and family weekends wear me out
but I can not seem to get away from finishing this entry
so... I am calling this entry as finished
it could use a few edits... but that is not really my style
a glance
but never really a full edit
this like so many of my jumbled thoughts could use a few more reviews
but I need a nap... so I am going to select this text.... make it BOLD and then ITALIC
then hit publish and post
so I can nap.

shaken not stirred.
shaken... stirred?

heck... just pour it in a glass and I will drink it

cool is not part of my design
I never figured out cool
I do not have the time to concern myself with it now
cool is not my aptitude

it can be sloppy...

it is my style
but it can be sloppy
my style has some sloppy aspects to it

the attention deficit disorder in me will often take quantity over quality
it can be seen in all aspects of my life

this combined with the energy of an extrovert
the need for lots to go out

the motivation can be experience oriented

the multi-post style of my blog

that is the style of my life
not just electronically... but also in the real world
the way it makes me feel... it is an experience for me

it can be seen in my many athletic interests giving me that badge of "jack of all trades... master of none"
rather than selecting one interest and devoting myself... it is more a situation of intense dabbling
sometimes just an intense scratching of the surface
this sort of approach to sport can also be seen in my "creative interests"

the blog is a creative outlet for me

electronically creative... yet creative just the same
it is a good release
it is a place for me to get lost
I enjoy my electronic time almost as much as I enjoy my time in the real world

I enjoy the electronic experience

but really... I love the things I love doing actively outdoors long before I settle in to be bothered by anything outdoors
I love to experience things outdoors

active activity versus a passive activity
so many electronic activities would fall into a passive activity
blogging is an activity much like fishing
okay... there are aspects of fishing that can be active
like sport fishing off a boat in the gulf or fly fishing
but dropping a line with a worm and a bobber is a passive activity
much like electronic activities like video games and blogging are moderately passive activities
but this rant is not about passive versus active activities
no... this rant is about my input to reward ratio
and the thought that how we play games is how we live our lives

the passive activity of the electronic world is not only the inactivity of the body but more so the robotic mindlessness of the electronic experience
just as talking on the phone is not the same as talking face to face
video games also take us a bit out of the situation
just as the computer and its many experiences are often a watered down version of the real world version

the other night I had this great opportunity to photo Thievery Corporation moderately up close and mod
erately personal... them live on stage... not them hanging casually back stage
which is fine... because normally I do not like to photo anybody without a bicycle
it was the fifth and final night of Five Nights of Thievery and I had a photo pass
a photo pass and my glorious point and shoot

there was a moment there where I thought about my Canon G10 with its scratched lens absent a flash in the hot shoe...
yes... for a moment I thought about whether I was missing an opportunity where I should be working harder with the camera
getting deeper in into the setting

paying closer attention to what I was doing

there were other thoughts of the potential of the moment where I thought about whether it would have made sense to have rented or borrowed some nicer equipment

that thought was fleeting
those thoughts were fleeting
I was there to enjoy myself not to do homework or go to work
I have a job... taking photographs is a hobby

yes... there is some work to hobbies
yes... there was some fiddling with the settings

but... no more than the usual tricks never with any great long analysis of the results where are there for immediate review

not only did I not upgrade to a more high tech higher quality camera
I also decided not to bring any of my seldom used tripods
yes... tripods

going out to see a band was the objective of the evening
not shooting photos for Spin or Rolling Stone

it all worked out fine with the little G1o without a tripod

I like my results... the photos came out to my liking
I had an awesome time

in fact...
it was an awesome time listening to the music, taking some photos, and hanging out
like Frank I did it my way... or perhaps more like the rough and a tad uglier way I did it My Way like Sid Vicious did it his way
my way... yes... I did it my way

did other people take better shots? could another person take better shots?
certainly... certainly...
of course

that is not the point

I did it my way... that was my evening... those are my shots
not much more
it was my good time
it was my experience
taking the photos and viewing the photos and then posting the photos was my experience
this rant... a continuation of the process
my way... this is my way

those shots were mine and they do not look so much like everyone elses
in drawing classes in college I never could really understand why we were being taught to draw in such a manner that if all our drawings were stacked without our names written on them that we would not be able to tell whose is whose by much more than the perspective of where their stool or easel were in relation to the still life

later I grew to understand... or maybe grew to believe that people must learn to paint before they unpaint

but then I struggled with the exercises
even thought my still life drawings were not as good as most of the other s
till life drawings
or at least

my still life drawings did not look anything like most of the other still life drawings

drawing a still life with an effort for photographic accuracy was like riding the trainer in the basement
it is not really how things work for me
but of course... I have drawn still life drawings and I have ridden the trainer in the basement
there was a time when it was rollers and not a trainer

I was never that good on my second hand rollers
and drawing was a pleasure more than a skill
I can not paint... but have not really every tried
it has been a long time since I have drawn more than a scribble

cameras are not paints and brushes
these words are a metaphor

just a metaphor...
how I approach photography is a metaphor for how I approach life
how I approach life is seen in everything that I do

how is that working for you?
the results are the results
we all struggle with the results
most of us care about the results
even if the results fall into the measure of personal best

the results are part of what define the experience

results... we all want good results... we all want better results
if nothing else we all seek the best results that we personally can achieve

it is that simple... even the kid who did not study for the tes
t wants to score a high mark
I know... I was that kid that never studied for the test
and of course... I wanted a high mark
and of course... it hurt me that I did not get a high mark

even if I did not do what it would take to get the highest mark

again... the metaphor
it is the same in the classroom as it is with the camera o
r on the bike
it is the same in life

always wanting better results

never doing quite what it takes to get there
but of course... getting some pretty okay results
even if those results could be better

in the early 90's I lived in Summit County Colorado
it was a simple life that involved an assortment of jobs and a great deal of time on the mountain
snowboarding was my alpine pleasure
practicing and repeating tricks was not my thing

I was not seeking an eleven hundred... heck I was not even looking for a 360

when I hit the halfpipe it was usually just because I was headed that way down the hill
hiking the halfpipes... waiting my turn for the man made or natural "hit" was never my thing
if it was there I would take it
just flow on through and sometimes flow on past
sitting on my ass waiting my turn was not my style
that was not my experience

it was about the turns

I guess I would say I was "a soul rider"
soul riders ride for the feeling

I definitely rode for the feeling

I am not coining this phrase of "soul rider" I have heard others use this term to describe their style of riding
I rode with a number of riders of various ambitions
it weirded me out to see a friend of mine who I only knew trained GS on his planks... it weirded me out to see him jam "free riding"

I just did not get it
as I am older now... I get it... but it is not my approach to sport and life
a little too much work
a little too much sacrifice

stepping out of bounds just off the resort was about as "out of bounds" as I knew how to get
when stepping out to Billy's Bowl, The Windows, Imperial Bowl, or whatever else was available with chair access
well... there would be a measure... a measure of input and reward

there was a measure of the footstep to the turn ratio

as well as a measure of the level of exertion versus the returned level of pleasure

input to reward ratio
there are some simple rules in life

there is a correlation between input and reward
nothing comes without sacrifice

I like my input to reward ratio

things are pretty good

sure... everything could be better
of course I am working on that... hopefully that is the quest of each and every individual

life is an expression

we all express ourselves in the way that we live our lives

some better shots along with my post on
DC' Six Degrees of Thievery Corp


1 comment:

gwadzilla said...

I never did fall asleep...

but I did relax and space out to a side of Quadrophenia

now I think I will take advantage of the last moments of sunlight and walk the dog before I start cooking up fajitas for dinner