these photos are from a lifetime ago...

Joel and Damien
3rd Right Dorchester Dorm at SMC

I am Joel
the skinny kid with hair
that "was" me
now I am bigger and bald
also older and less wise

sophomore year at St. Mary's College of Maryland
seems like a lifetime ago
or at least more than half my lifetime ago
half of my life time ago

in the above shot I am working on a drawing with my room mate and best friend Damien Dukavich

I have not picked up a pencil for even a doodle in decades
maybe a crayon along side of my kids
but really...
I stopped drawing a million years ago

Damien is no longer of this world
Damien's life was cut short

Damien was hit and killed by a car the summer between sophomore and junior year of college
Damien was crossing the costal highway in Ocean City Maryland with his older brother and some friends
it was a bit of a fluke
what people call "an accident"

I do not care for the term "accident"
"accidents" involve spilling milk
not decapitating pedestrians 

previous mentions of Damien or Damian

ah... youth
vanity of youth
we were young

we thought we would be young forever
we thought we would live forever
life proved us wrong on that one

some of us lived... a few of us died
none of us stayed young forever

the night of Damien's death there was a concert at Merriweather Post Pavilion
hard to recall

New Order, Echo and the Bunnyman, and maybe Gene Loves Jezebel? 

Tim and Snoopy had a ticket for Damien... he was out of contact
this was all pre-email... pre-internet... and pretty much pre-cell phone
"car phones" may have been appearing on the scene... but not in everyday use
most calls from these "car phones" started with "I am calling you from a car phone!"

there was a good chance that Damien's group house on 28th Street in Ocean City lacked a telephone
hard to believe

I went to the Merriweather show on Damien's ticket as there had been no communication and we all thought that he was going to "flake" on us
which he did...

the shows at Merriweather end early due to the placement of the concert venue in a residential neighborhood
back at Snoopy's house we watch videos and drank some beers
I remember feeling an intense emptiness at one point early in the evening
asking where I would be sleeping and went to bed early

the next morning Snoopy woke me and told me the news of Damien's death
it sounds hokey
but I felt the death of Damien
when Damien died... a part of me died with him

we drove up to Syracuse for the funeral a few days later

it was hard returning to school after that
the next semester took some adjustment
I ended up taking a leave of absence after that semester

Damien and my then girlfriend Gillian
I think she like my friends better than she liked me

this photo of these guys was taken after a St. Mary's Seahawks soccer game
the only goal I scored in college
it was a head ball off a corner kick
it may not have been pretty, but it went in the net

 fighting with Gillian for "center stage"
the memories are scattered
all those things that seemed so significant then are now forgotten
good memories.
sad memories.


and then this...
Blog Post about Jim Wilborn
another friend killed by a careless car driver

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