it is like dogs and cats...
if a dog chases a cat... the cat owner is enraged
but... that same cat owner is more than likely proud of their cat's hunting ability
smiling with a great glow when their cat shows us with a bird, chipmunk, mole, or whatever in their mouth
the dog is punished for expressing their nature
the cat is rewarded for expressing their nature
What Schools Can Do to Help Boys Succeed