2.26.2014

why do we ask our children? our children do not know what is best for them...


a photo from a few years back
when The Awakening was at Hains Point


so often I am talking to a parent and they say...
"little billy does not want to play soccer this season... so we are taking a break"
to this I ask... if little billy wants to take a break from vegetables... are they free to make this decision?
more than likely not

yet... so many parents let their kids make decisions on these things
when really... the kids are not making informed decisions
their rationals may be valid to themselves or to that moment
but they are not looking big picture

I deal with these sorts of issues every day with my just turned ten year old and his soon to be 13 year old older brother
so... I try to break the code
and
I try to anticipate the answer and cater the question appropriately

last night I had a little encounter with my older son
both the boys had been home sick from school
which of course had them on a VIDEO GAME MARATHON
the boys were both entranced by their screens
it was not near their usual bedtime... but on a sick day they could use more rest
so I gave them a 20 minute warning

20 MINUTE WARNING?
some families run an egg timer and have the kids on a 30 minute video game max
so I feel I am not just being liberal... but accepting
yet my statement was met with some objection

then when I gave the two minute warning then the directive to POWER DOWN AND SHUT THE LID my older son mumbled something about how he was not sure if he would be able to find this point in the game again
to which I coldly said, "I don't care"

then as I ushered the boys out of the room I toned it down
recalling that I played video games and understood the importance of the game of the moment
but then altered things to try and give Dean a better understanding of my positioning

"Dean... it is odd the emotion you have about the video game but you lacked any response to missing tomorrow's ski trip. Tomorrow your class is going skiing, you were scheduled to go, but because you are sick... you will miss this. This would have been a chance for you to 'show off your skills' An opportunity for peers to witness one of your strengths... yet you showed no care\no concern.. did not even shrug your shoulders. You did not respond to the topic of missing the class ski trip... yet having to shut off the computer and lose some progress in your game... well... that is important. I must say.. I think your priorities are skewed"

this is why I take the roll of drill sergeant
this is why I tell my boys what they are doing rather than ask them if they want to do something
this is why I cut the video games off and push their momentum in my direction
because they do not know what is best for them
it is up to us as parents to help them do what is best for them
if given the choice... most kids would not wash their face and brush their teeth
kids would take candy and ice cream over fruits and vegetables
and of course
video games over physical activity

don't ask... tell
try and break the code
why do they not want to do something?
why are they giving me the answer that they are giving me?
and of course
what is best for the child?

ask yourself... what is best for the child?
then do that 

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