Bard, Bards, and my friend the Redneck Bard


Main Entry: 1bard
Pronunciation: 'bärd
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Scottish Gaelic & Irish
Date: 15th century
1 a : a tribal poet-singer skilled in composing and reciting verses on heroes and their deeds b : a composer, singer, or declaimer of epic or heroic verse
2 : POET
- bard·ic /'bär-dik/ adjective

more than BLOGGING I like talking
at times I can get onto an unstoppable story telling roll
other times I am sure that my ramblings fall flat
there are times where I wish I had a stenographer at my side to take down these spoken words into writing as I feel I have a novel floating about my brain...well at least a collection of fabulous short stories
I am sure that there are those that do not find me as entertaining as I find myself
some may duck for cover when they see me coming in that cocktail party scenario
this I know, because there are those who I am leary of getting cornered by
there are certain people who like to hold the floor
turning converstations into monologues
which is fine.....as long as they are considerate to monitor the interest of their audience
(which they most frequently ignore)
as long as they are talking to me and not just talking on auto pilot

this morning I had the pleasure of working on the building engineer at work's computer
this guy is a trip
he is a story teller....and stories...he has a lot
be careful though...he can go ballistic....once he starts....there is no stopping him!

David Hall the building engineer is a short fat redneck who is as wide as he is tall
lucky for him he is not so tall so he is also not so wide
his office is decorated with the classic mechanic style pin up calendars as well as snap shots of his various cars, boats, and the many fish that he has caught
there are also photos from a different time, a thinner slimmer time
pictures of a young David Hall riding wheelies on Harley Davidson Sportsters and sharing his vows with his also young and thing wife
there are also clippings from newspapers with David by boiler units or elevator shafts
again of a David Hall I have never met, only the David Hall that I hear about in his stories
David has a story for every occassion
actually he has a list of stories for every occassion and every story leads to another set of stories

this morning as I was trouble shooting his system we talked about the holidays and holiday meals
he went from tangent to tangent of the things he was going to prepare and who was going to be there
until he locked in on the topic of shucking oysters
who would have thought that I could be so riveted to tales of a man shucking oysters with the caterers at various parties and gatherings around town
somehow David managed to put a clever and funny spin on all of the stories
each story better than the next

this morning has been rather busy
my mind has drawn a blank at the direction of the tale
thought I was going to retell some of his oyster shucking yarns
somewhere in the morning those stories failed to go from my short term to my long term memory
or better yet
I am just failing the ability to retrieve them
as I am sure that next time David starts in on the same set of stories
I will most certainly say to myself....I have heard this one before
more than likely I will sit back and listen as some stories are better the second time around

as much as I love my infrequent bond sessions with David Hall the Redneck Bard
there are times when I fear that I am being drawn helplessly into a monologue black hole
there is no polite exit
there is no appropriate pause to step away
once you are in the power of the vortex holds you in place
this morning I had to stop David and let him know that I had time for one more story
that he could tell the same one he just told as it was so good
or select a new one
he could skip the one he just started and upgrade to an alternative
as he only had time for one story
I wanted it to be his best
always best to walk away from the table winning

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