"Get in the Bike Lane" is maybe the second most common statement shouted out to me as I ride my bicycle around the city
the most common utterance is more than likely... "Get Off the Road!"

give me a break..
give me a brake...


this logic evokes the bad nasty me
I am likely spit, shout, or cuss
or maybe all three
I can not take this sitting down on the saddle or standing on the pedals

I can not help but over react... actually... I ignore it... I let it roll... it does not bother me...
then the 100th monkey gets the response that I contained for all the assholes before them

well... maybe not 100... maybe 1 in 5

really... I can not engage every asshole on the road
there is not enough time
I do not have enough energy

but really...
Get in the Bike Lane?
Get off the Road?

this is selfish 
this is ignorant
this is illogical
this is obnoxious

it is also often ironic
I am not telling car drivers to take the Highway rather than the side streets

really... I would love to use the bike lane
I would... I really really wound

I would ride in the bike lane... only one problem...
the bike lane is occupied

the bike lane is often occupied
the bike lane is misconstrued as a Right Turn Lane... a Delivery Truck Loading\Unloading Zone... a Taxi Cab Pick Up\Drop Off Area... a parking space...

yes... Really...
I do not want to exaggerate

but I do not think I could ride three city blocks down the 14th Street Bike Lane without having to exit the bike lane to avoid any number of these hazards
and that does not even bring up the dangers of THE DOOR ZONE and all the cars that have to enter or exit alleyways, parking garages, or parking spaces or the need for cars to cross over the bike lane to turn left or turn right

it is open season on cyclists
the Bike Lane
well... the Bike Lane is like a hunter's trap

what should be the safest place to ride can often be the most dangerous place to ride
I scurry in and out of the bike lane seeking sanctuary where ever I can 

and then...
my presence
my annoying presence on the bike
am I altering anyone in their car's pace?
are they getting to their destination any more late because of me?
no and no

am I creating traffic?
well... I am traffic

I have just as much right to the road as anyone else
as far as my Charlie Brown t-shirt style riding style with my Zigging here and Zagging there...
this seemingly erratic movement is the logic of trying to put myself where I am most safe
avoiding danger... avoiding the point of intersection... avoiding the worst case scenario

yes.. I do have a chip on my shoulder
I am exhausted
I am tired of submitting
I am tired of being the one that compensates for those around me

I try to do my part
contribute as little as possible to the chaos

I would not ride the way I do if people did not drive the way they do
it is that simple
my action is a reaction to the variables around me

people in cars SUCK!
driving in traffic brings out the worst in people

traffic makes shitty people more shitty