I did not watch or follow the Johnny Depp\Amber Heard trial...
no...
I did not watch or follow the OJ trial...
I am not Johnny Depp
but
my ex wife was my Amber Heard
in my years of separation and then divorce my ex wife said untrue things about me
she lied about me to my family
she lied about me to my kids
she lied about me to our friends and our peers
she lied about me to the parents in our school community
SHE LIED ABOUT ME
this is not entirely uncommon
in the early days of divorce
it agitated me
but... in the end
I felt like the truth would win
I was wrong
the truth did not prevail
people were swayed by the fabricated lies
unacceptable
over time the lies that were leaked would drift back to me
sure... easy for my ex to convince her family of these lies
but my family?
it took time... but my mother eventually saw the manipulation and the lies
but others...
they took the hook
they were played
they believed the lies
their support of my lying ex drove me out of the room
I was in disbelief that sides were chosen and that those sides were not blood
but those sides were for my lying ex
it hurt
it still hurts
I now HATE my father
we are estranged
thinking of him makes my blood boil
my father failed me as a child...
my father failed me as a teen...
my father failed me as an adult...
my father chose his abusive ex wife over me
my father chose my abusive wife over me
my father is not a man
he tells me to "grow up"
I say to him "man up
what a bitch.
my dad is his wife's bitch
he was her bitch then.... he is her bitch now
what a loser.
but it goes beyond that...
the whole ordeal was awkward
it was a situation of the woman gathering
and well...
if the men who were joined to those woman wanted to co-exist
like steep they followed their wives
bitches...
my brother is his wife's bitch
my dad is his wife's bitch
I divorced a woman because I was not interested in being someone's bitch
I wanted a supportive wife
they do not have that
they have fear
fear of what would happen if they tried to stand up to their wives
spineless bitches
I know that my brother would disagree to this synopsis
he claims he trie to resolve things
but really he complied
if you stand by the liar's side
you are cooperating that liar's lie
people were enablers
my family enabled my ex wife's abusive behavior
by standing by her side
it was if they were saying her actions were okay
but it did not stop there...
of course it did not stop there...
just as I unsuccessfully tried to sway people to my side of the story
so did she
I tried to sway people with stories and anecdotes
truths
moments... moments to explain the relationship
again... truth
she spread lies
and well
the lies got worse over time
as said...
I am not Johnny Depp
but
my ex wife was my Amber Heard
in the children's school community
my ex told her story
again... the woman would blindly lend their support
eating up the lies like candy
it is hard to know what is going on
both of my son's were very successful high school rowers
my ex wife was a rowing mom
her presence in that circle boxed me out
when I tried to attend rowing events or races
I often watched from the other side of the river
seldom did I gather to celebrate with the teams
when I did gather with the teams
my ex had a strong emotional reaction
it was not my aim to ruin my ex wife's day
I just wanted to celebrate these moments with my sons
I would pass through quickly
trying to give her space
I saw her face change and her body shake
my attacker was also a timid sensitive wounded animal
so I gave he space... and blew threw these events quickly
there were some parents that I had bonded with
but... my ex would not have this
if I were to pass through a crowd and say hello to people
I witnessed my ex follow close behind
I saw her pull these parents aside
she said things...
not sure what she said
but there were people who I was chummy with who I never spoke with again after my ex's intervention
those incidents were in the circle of my older son's rowing team
it was cruel
it was unkind
it was unfair
I was blocked out of my sons lives by my ex
so... often when I attended uninvited I did not care about the parents
as I knew that their allegiance was to Lisa
her lies were so believable
look at me
I AM A MONSTER!
actually not...
so....
just as my older son was the Stroke seat on the Wilson Rowing team that won the SRAA Nationals
my younger son develop into a strong rower
also becoming the Stroke seat in a boat that would win the SRAA Nationals
with my ex wife death from cancer
I was able to attend some events that would have been awkward for me and her
but... again...
I do know know what people think of me
what is there perception?
after the SRAA Nationals I ran into a rowing dad
a dad I had connected with over the years
we spoke about Lisa's passing
the sadness of young children losing their mother
we spoke about Lisa's strengths
but I could not help buy mention the slander
then here it is...
validation... vindication... verification...
the thought in my head were not just madness
but truth
my ex had in fact tried to infect the parents of the Wilson Rowing community with lies
she had changed her story
she had changed the WHOLE story
instead of it being a classic of opposites attract...
a couple growing apart...
etc. etc.
it became a story of lies
this father told me that not just once but three times my ex approached her and tried to pollute his impression with lies
he old me how she emotionally told him about her fear of me
her fear of me hurting her
her fear of her hurting my children
well... that is just now so
nothing is further from the truth
COMPLETE LIES!
NOT A SECOND OF TRUTH!
I NEVER EVEN MADE A FIST!
sure... I blocked her fists
I blocked her kicks
she did in fact physically attack me on a few occasions
one of her violent episodes she screamed like she was being raped as she attacked me
our Mount Pleasant row house with its thin walls
I knew this was not the first time that the neighbors heard her scream
as she baited me
as she got aggressive with me
as she got physical with me in the hope I would get physical back
I did not take the bait
that is not who I am
that is not how I solve my problems
yet... she painted me that way
one one of these nights where she attacked me
after I held her steady so she could not hurt me
she continued to scream and then she went upstairs
this is pre-divorce
in this moment she woke the kids and claimed that I had hit her
which I had not
but she lied to my children about this moment that never happened
the boys did not believe her
the love her
but luckily
they did not listen to her lies
sadly... so many others did
the Wilson parent's story is my vindication
there is no cleaning my name
slan·der
/ˈslandər/
noun
LAW
- the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation."he is suing the TV network for slander"
verb
- make false and damaging statements about (someone).