I am no Johnny Depp... but still... she was my Amber Heard


I did not watch or follow the Johnny Depp\Amber Heard trial...
no...
I did not watch or follow the OJ trial...

I am not Johnny Depp
but 
my ex wife was my Amber Heard

in my years of separation and then divorce my ex wife said untrue things about me

she lied about me to my family
she lied about me to my kids
she lied about me to our friends and our peers
she lied about me to the parents in our school community

SHE LIED ABOUT ME

this is not entirely uncommon 

in the early days of divorce
it agitated me
but... in the end
I felt like the truth would win

I was wrong
the truth did not prevail 
people were swayed by the fabricated lies
unacceptable

over time the lies that were leaked would drift back to me

sure... easy for my ex to convince her family of these lies
but my family?
it took time... but my mother eventually saw the manipulation and the lies
but others...
they took the hook

they were played

they believed the lies
their support of my lying ex drove me out of the room
I was in disbelief that sides were chosen and that those sides were not blood
but those sides were for my lying ex

it hurt
it still hurts

I now HATE my father
we are estranged
thinking of him makes my blood boil


my father failed me as a child...
my father failed me as a teen...
my father failed me as an adult...

my father chose his abusive ex wife over me
my father chose my abusive wife over me

my father is not a man
he tells me to "grow up"
I say to him "man up

what a bitch.
my dad is his wife's bitch
he was her bitch then.... he is her bitch now
what a loser.

but it goes beyond that...

the whole ordeal was awkward
it was a situation of the woman gathering
and well...
if the men who were joined to those woman wanted to co-exist
like steep they followed their wives

bitches...
my brother is his wife's bitch
my dad is his wife's bitch
I divorced a woman because I was not interested in being someone's bitch
I wanted a supportive wife
they do not have that
they have fear

fear of what would happen if they tried to stand up to their wives

spineless bitches
I know that my brother would disagree to this synopsis
he claims he trie to resolve things
but really he complied

if you stand by the liar's side
you are cooperating that liar's lie

people were enablers
my family enabled my ex wife's abusive behavior
by standing by her side
it was if they were saying her actions were okay

but it did not stop there...

of course it did not stop there...

just as I unsuccessfully tried to sway people to my side of the story
so did she

I tried to sway people with stories and anecdotes
truths
moments... moments to explain the relationship
again... truth

she spread lies
and well
the lies got worse over time

as said...
I am not Johnny Depp
but 
my ex wife was my Amber Heard 

in the children's school community
my ex told her story
again... the woman would blindly lend their support
eating up the lies like candy

it is hard to know what is going on 
both of my son's were very successful high school rowers
my ex wife was a rowing mom
her presence in that circle boxed me out

when I tried to attend rowing events or races
I often watched from the other side of the river
seldom did I gather to celebrate with the teams
when I did gather with the teams
my ex had a strong emotional reaction

it was not my aim to ruin my ex wife's day
I just wanted to celebrate these moments with my sons
I would pass through quickly
trying to give her space

I saw her face change and her body shake
my attacker was also a timid sensitive wounded animal

so I gave he space... and blew threw these events quickly

there were some parents that I had bonded with
but... my ex would not have this
if I were to pass through a crowd and say hello to people
I witnessed my ex follow close behind
I saw her pull these parents aside
she said things... 
not sure what she said
but there were people who I was chummy with who I never spoke with again after my ex's intervention

those incidents were in the circle of my older son's rowing team
it was cruel
it was unkind
it was unfair

I was blocked out of my sons lives by my ex

so... often when I attended uninvited I did not care about the parents
as I knew that their allegiance was to Lisa
her lies were so believable
look at me

I AM A MONSTER!

actually not...

so....
just as my older son was the Stroke seat on the Wilson Rowing team that won the SRAA Nationals
my younger son develop into a strong rower
also becoming the Stroke seat in a boat that would win the SRAA Nationals


with my ex wife death from cancer
I was able to attend some events that would have been awkward for me and her
but... again... 
I do know know what people think of me
what is there perception?

after the SRAA Nationals I ran into a rowing dad
a dad I had connected with over the years

we spoke about Lisa's passing
the sadness of young children losing their mother
we spoke about Lisa's strengths 
but I could not help buy mention the slander

then here it is...
validation... vindication... verification...
the thought in my head were not just madness 
but truth
my ex had in fact tried to infect the parents of the Wilson Rowing community with lies

she had changed her story
she had changed the WHOLE story

instead of it being a classic of opposites attract... 
a couple growing apart... 
etc. etc.
it became a story of lies

this father told me that not just once but three times my ex approached her and tried to pollute his impression with lies
he old me how she emotionally told him about her fear of me
her fear of me hurting her
her fear of her hurting my children

well... that is just now so 
nothing is further from the truth

COMPLETE LIES!

NOT A SECOND OF TRUTH!

I NEVER EVEN MADE A FIST!
sure... I blocked her fists
I blocked her kicks
she did in fact physically attack me on a few occasions

one of her violent episodes she screamed like she was being raped as she attacked me
our Mount Pleasant row house with its thin walls
I knew this was not the first time that the neighbors heard her scream
as she baited me
as she got aggressive with me
as she got physical with me in the hope I would get physical back

I did not take the bait
that is not who I am
that is not how I solve my problems
yet... she painted me that way

one one of these nights where she attacked me
after I held her steady so she could not hurt me
she continued to scream and then she went upstairs
this is pre-divorce
in this moment she woke the kids and claimed that I had hit her
which I had not
but she lied to my children about this moment that never happened

the boys did not believe her
the love her
but luckily 
they did not listen to her lies

sadly... so many others did

the Wilson parent's story is my vindication
there is no cleaning my name


slan·der
/ˈslandər/
noun
LAW
  1. the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation.
    "he is suing the TV network for slander"
    Similar:
    defamation
    defamation of character
    character assassination
    misrepresentation of character
    calumny
    libel
    scandalmongering
    malicious gossip
    muckraking
    smear campaigning
    disparagement
    denigration
    derogation
    aspersions
    vilification
    traducement
    obloquy
    backbiting
    scurrility
    lie
    slur
    smear
    untruth
    false accusation
    false report
    insult
    slight
    mudslinging
    bad-mouthing
    contumely
    Opposite:
    acclamation
    praise
verb
  1. make false and damaging statements about (someone).