I understand... those are allegiances... you can not play offense and defense at the same time... you have to choose which team you are on...
looking at my life...
I can see how this principle has been applied
applied by others
not applied by myself
yet I agree...
perhaps I should have accepted this principle
things could have been different for my mental state if I had just accepted the sides which people stood on
it is not with me against me...
but it is with me or with them
you can not be on both teams
always questioning how people thought they could be friends with me while also being friends with my enemy?
my father broke bread with my enemy
while I ate alone
why would I still consider that man to be my father any longer
my father... that man is no longer my father
he was never the father I wanted
he was never the father I needed
as a child I looked for mentors in other men in the world around me
teachers... coaches... etc.
then...
while lacking as a father I accepted him and his flaws
but then the betrayal
to choose my wife over me ini the divorce
why?
because I did not laugh at his jokes?
she faked her laugh
his jokes are not that funny
in that moment I asked my father to read King Lear
trying to tell my father that I loved him and did not need to prove it
while he was being manipulated and being played
my ex wife never liked him that much
my father is not that likable
sure... he can tell a story at a party
but really
he is not that likable
he is judgmental
he is opinionated
he talks but does not listen
etc... etc... etc...
the basic characteristics of Narcissistic Personality Disorder would be listed here
