this past spring my ex wife died
not my wife... not my friend
my ex wife
the mother of my children
but also...
my Amber Heard.
divorce.
ah... divorce.
dated for 4 years...
married for 16...
and then
divorced until her death
those divorced years were hard on me
although we had a separation agreement
there were dynamics that allowed my ex wife to take more than her half
all I asked of her
all I asked of anyone
is that people were fair
people were not fair to me
for years I tried to have people to treat me more fairly
I told them
"you are doing to me... what you would not allow others to do to you"
yet... there was little change
very little modification to suit a situation that was FAIR for everyone
we always want a situation that works for everyone
the holidays did not work for me
so...
the holidays did not work for everyone
so...
I had to alter the routine
as
I wanted to enjoy my holidays as well
I broke from the traditions and tried to create new traditions
but cancer
my ex wife got diagnosed with cancer
so...
again... there were adaptations made
well.. I adapted
I tried to be supportive
she wanted space
so I gave her space
I had my boys focus more on her than on me
yet she still fought to keep them from me
rather than have the boys stay at my house half the time
I had my sons stay at their mothers
as her cancer was terminal
we did not know how long she had
so... I tried to be generous
I tried to be kind
but Amber Heard stuck to her story
still slandering my name
still defaming my name to those around her
lies lies lies
it was hard
it is hard
she was my best friend
but in the end
she was a stranger
I did not know this woman
there was a time when I knew her better than anyone
but she became someone I never expected
her cruelty to me
her efforts to hurt me... hurt my children
these behaviors were not consistent with an image of the woman I once loved
no... a very different person
the bitterness... the cruelty... it was pre cancer diagnosis
she wished me dead
her abusive morning text messages each day for a few years gave me a clear message of the madness I her head
those words did not hurt me as much as they hurt my position in the community
parents on my children's rowing team were fed lies about me
it made it awkward to me to engage this community
she was so believable
so...
the passing of my ex wife is complicated
her death is not as painful to me as all the moments with my children that she blocked me out of
the gatherings with MY family
all the birthdays... all the pool parties... and all the Holidays
it has been 5 years since I have been a guest in my father's house
and well.. I do not plan on every being a guest in that house again
estranged is not strange... it is painful
I hate my father for his choice
too much too unfold here...
sorry...
I hurt
not so much by the death of this person
but more so due to the damage she inflicted upon my relationship with my family
Peace to Lisa
sorry for your pain
sorry for your cancer
sorry that divorce effected you as it did
Love to Lisa Joy Woods
you were once my best friend
