when I saw this I commented...
"my lord... why do you keep posting about my ex wife?"
not to rant... not to go into it...
but for me
it is healthy for me to learn that these things were not in my head
these things were real
even when married and we were good
it was difficult to co-parent
I could not tell\suggest any parenting tactics to my wife
if I said something she would either crawl into a ball and cry or fire up the chainsaw and chase me around the house
okay... that is being hyperbolic
but you get the picture
so... at a young age
instead of making suggestions
I would say
"we need to ask ourselves. What is best for the children?"
she would not do that
then after the divorce
she wanted the boys all to herself
tried to block me out of their lives
we had a 60\40 split agreement
but did 50\50 week to week
she did things that were completely unfair
taking the kids on vacations on my vacation year
when she did those things...
all I could say is... the boys will have a great time skiing in Utah
I can not afford to take them to Utah
I will take them mountain biking when they get back
she was a wonderful mom
but some of her flaws were over the top
spending more energy on caring what people think
then on her time with the kids
I try not to throw her under the bus when I am with the boys
I have done enough of that
but it is tough
now that the boys are older they will say things about her
I want to build on the criticism
but instead... I try to just say "your mom was a good mom"
which she was... she was a wonderful mom
but... she had her moments
too many moments