WARNING: Grumpy Complaints about a Wonderful Event
Race Report: Beers and Wheels
yesterday there was an Alleycat
my buddy Amos Smith was hosting
although I had shit I needed to do... I figured it was a beautiful day and I wanted to hang with friends, ride my bike, and show Amos some support
responsibilities can wait for another day
in the days that preceded the event I had a visit from Legend Bruce
when Bruce said he was racing Saturday
I figured I could team up with Bruce
we each have strong knowledge of the city
he knows what he knows
I know what I know
together... we know a bit about the city
and then also
Bruce and I have similar engines and similar riding styles
oh... and I enjoy Bruce's company
Saturday approached and my friend Heather drove to my house and we rode down to the race start at Malcolm X Park
at Malcolm X Park we caught up with Amos and an assortment of racers
it looked like it was gonna be a solid event
even if there appeared to be some vacancies
life is life
there are always conflicts
people have obligations
it is hard to do bike stuff every weekend
there have been and will be a number of Alleycats this month
so... I get it
Open Streets... Free Gaza Ride... Weddings.. Laundry...
I get it
Alleycat Racers Are a Fickle Bunch
Heather and I arrived with plenty of time to mix and mingle before the race
the race this day would have a dual manifest format
which is interesting
this is something that Cate Cohen and I did for the Confer Cat in August
the notion is this
an Alleycat manifest may be too much for some people
so... maybe if there is an Alleycat Lite Manifest - more people will participate
in this situation
Alleycat Lite Racers got the manifest the Wednesday before the race
I thought it was funny
as homework is not my thing
it seemed to me that if this crowd was better at homework
they would not be messengers\delivery folk
personally...
I do not like the manifest being handed out in advance
in fact
on race day... I prefer the the manifest gets handed out at the race start
allowing those that do not use their phones to start riding
instead of letting people plan their routes
using mapping tools and\or AI tools like Chap GPT
so... we were told that the Alleycat Lite manifest was an abbreviated version of the Pro Race Manifest
although it was sent on Wednesday
I did not look at it until Saturday
HOLD ON!
AMOS REMOVED THE MANIFEST FROM HIS INSTAGRAM COME SATURDAY MORNING!
oh well... no worries... I did a screen capture days prior
this is the Alleycat Lite Manifest
the morning before the race I did a quick scan for any locations that were unknown to me
did a quick Google
wrote down a few notes
at Malcom X Park racers hung out
there was a good showing
lots of people out showing support
unfortunately
a number of those people would be unable to race
well... cool for them to come out
cool of them to show some support
time passed
Amos got out a megaphone and started a pre-race meeting
manifests were handed out
manifests for "beginners"
and then a few minutes later
manifests for "pros"
we were given time to review the manifest and ask any questions
although normally I just like to "wing it"
I figured I should use this time appropriately
I looked up any addresses that were unfamiliar to me
I put numbers next to the check points to try and determine my ordering
Amos has a race format that he has repeated in previous Alleycats
on the manifest will be a few far off locations
those locations can work to remove checkpoints
in this race we needed to go to 24 Checkpoints
there were four locations where we could eliminate checkpoints
Alleycat Bar and Grill in Friendship Heights allowed racers to cancel out 10 Checkpoints
a glance at the manifest... that seemed to make sense
it was far... but it had to be faster to go out and back
than to go zig zagging around to 10 Checkpoints
then...
on my set loop
there was a spot in Georgetown that would cancel out another two checkpoints
would going to these spots could as checkpoints?
I would end up doing a few more than 24 checkpoints
as I was not sure if those Bonus Checkpoints that offered the removal of checkpoint would be part of the final tally
Bruce was running late... he had sent Amos a message... so we knew he was gonna be late...
Bruce arrived after we already had been given the manifests
start time was minutes away
I called Bruce over
invited him to team up with me
told him about my plan to go to Friendship Heights and then Georgetown
which would allow us to eliminate 12 Checkpoints
making it so we would not have to to to SW DC
and then also fewer NE DC locations
it seemed like a good plan
from there...
I showed Bruce my order
there was no disagreement
Bruce was good with this as a plan
then it happened
the race started
Bruce and I left off with the other racers
two steps out of Malcolm X Park onto 15th Street and I turn to Bruce
MODIFICATION!
not going to 14th and S!
that does not make sense... hit that after Dupont
Straight to Don Juan's!
then Friendship Heights
onto the street and pointed to Mount Pleasant
other racers around us
Gabe and Clara were at our sides... although they were doing the Alleycat Lite Manifest
there was enough manifest overlap
that we had all selected Don Juan's
we got to Don Juan's
SIGNATURE!
there is no one there to give a signature
employees have no idea what is going on
at this point there is a cluster of racers panicked
it is decided
SELFIE INSTEAD OF SIGNATURE
everyone snaps a selfie
then people peel off in different directions
Bruce and I are off to Friendship Heights
not sure where anyone else is going
we are headed to Alleycat Bar and Grill
across the street from Booeymonger in Friendship Heights
we roll down Park Road at Speed
then we crawl up Porter Street at a mellow pace
onto Connecticut Avenue
the road that I discussed with DC Messenger Tony earlier at Malcom X before the start
Tony said he is no longer going to be going to DC Bike Party because they are in favor of bike lands on Connecticut Ave
funny for a cyclist to be pro car
we argued... I did not need to listen to his ignorant pro car argument
people are dying
I have almost been killed on that road
I commuted on that road for years
it was funny...
a cyclist agitated by a cycling event advocating for safer streets
yeah... whatever
two or three blocks up Conn Ave
then we rolled over to Reno Road
then over to Wisconsin Avenue
we get to our location
to my surprise
there are already two bikes there
Sleazy G and David P are already there
I consider moving their unlocked bikes
but...
I did not want to start a feud
it is confusing... this is the address... but no Alleycat Bar and Grill
Alleycat is no More
Alleycat Bar is now Aura
second stop... second manifest error...
not the best start!
we take selfies... there is no Alleycat Bar Selfie to Take
we take Aura Selfies
then... we point to Georgetown
a block... block and a half ahead
we can see the backs of Greg and Dave
we all arrive at 3111 K Street
Joker Promo!
Joker Promo?
we all take selfies of the Joker Movie Poster
is that the promo?
I wait for Dave and Greg to leave
then I go into the lobby
there are massive promos for other films
No Joker Promo Display!
I guess the movie poster is the promo
more confusion... time wasted because of awkward word usage
third stop... third misstep
(sorry to bitch... it is early am as I type... coffee has not improved my mood)
we are off...
we have created a loop with the addresses on the manifest
off to GW Area\foggy bottom
there is a court between 25th\24th and I and H
I forget the name
Bruce and I arrive
Greg and Dave are already there
they are confused
we need to find a sticker near number 7
Bruce is looking for a sticker near parking space number seven
after some guessing around
I go to housing unit number 7
Greg and I find the sticker at the same time
MORE SMILES
I call out to Bruce... Bruce is a stubborn male...
I call out to Bruce... "I Go IT"
Bruce doubts it and still searches
I am calling out to Bruce... come here... I have the answer... the answer is here...
eventually Bruce comes to my side
Greg laughs at the teamwork between Bruce and myself
Dave and Greg are off
I suggest that Bruce write down MORE SMILES at the next checkpoint
we are off to 19oo F Street
Bruce and I take different routes
Greg, Dave, Bruce, and I all get to this corner at the same time
SELFIE WITH GW STUDENT
that is random...
two young woman are walking by
shockingly
they were more than happy to be in our scavenger hunt
smiles all around
MORE SMILES!
we are tangled in with Greg and Dave
our routing and their routing are following the same logic
we take off for a Vape Shop on M Street
Greg is faster than Bruce or Myself
yet Bruce and I get to the Vape store before him
we all get our signatures and head for Dupont
Bruce and I take different routes to Dupont
not too different
I am zipping up the sidewalk on the even side of the street
passing Steptoe and Johnson on the left
Bruce in the street like a responsible citizen
Bruce and I arrive at the same time
Courier Corner
Nick Johnson signs our manifests
Bruce and I are in and out as Dave and Greg arrive
then off to 18th and Florida
we all take different routes
but a few blocks away from Dupont we find ourselves clustered together again on 18th Street headed north
Manifest Barber Shop we all take selfies
things are moving along nicely
then here it is...
14th and S
the checkpoint that I had initially thought would be first fits in nicely here
we take selfies with an artist on the sidewalk
again... MORE SMILES... it makes me happy how people are responding to us
later this day
I would get a piece of art from the artist as my Alleycat Prize
at 14th Street Bruce Suggests we skip Thomas Circle
and head to a Garden 1515 something
the four of us all struggle with this checkpoint
lots of purple rocks
not seeing the name Benjamin in any rock
I take photos of lots of purple rocks
another check point confusion
I guess if everyone has the same confusion it is okay...
but it is a little confusing
a little frustrating
a little annoying
yes... I am complaining
it is a great race... but I still complain
as we peel away headed to Showtime Bar and Grill on Florida Avenue
Greg asks where we are headed
I say Thomas Circle
we are not headed to Thomas Circle
but...
I want to shake these guys
after the clown at Showtime
we realize...
we are almost done
we just need to head towards the finish and hit a few spots near the finish at Little Miss Whiskey on H Street
a selfie with a massive skeleton at 12th and G Street
then a selfie with the bartender at The Pug on H Street
then over to Little Miss Whiskey
again we encounter Gabe and Clara
they are moving at a good pace
the four of us take the same trajectory to the Metro Branch Trail
on the MBT I accelerate past the happy couple
I am impressed by Clara's speed
in my mind I think Clara and Gabe should have done the Pro Manifest
Gabe is Alleycat Podium material
Clara is clearly comfortable on the bike
hammering in casual street clothes
we hit the previously mentioned spots and we just need to find the finish
I am not clear about the finish address
the address is not on the manifest
I do not want to waste time with the phone
I figure I will see the name of the spot overhead
or bicycles
luckily Amos is on the sidewalk out front
we arrive at the finish
Amos is waiting with his friend\coworker Ariel
where is everyone?
Am I First?
I mean.. Are we First?
Bruce and I were First!
a selfie with Billie Dee Williams
Billie Dee?
there is a neon sign... maybe Colt 45
I take that selfie and then hand in my manifest
now...
the manifest had lots of check points
each checkpoint was worth one point
we needed 24 points
the first racer to arrive with 24 points would win
getting more points did not make someone more of a winner
24 points to finish
we had more than 24 points
not only did we go to the two BONUS SPOTS that gave us a quick 12 Points
we went to 14 other checkpoints
and then also
I put a written answer to 2-3 checkpoints where I was able to google the answer
What is the park name?
Buzzard Point!
Dolinger Memorial Park!
maybe just two...
either way... EXTRA!
WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!
Amos Scores Bruce and I as one... and Bruce and I finish FIRST!
Sleazy G and Dave P. come in a little later... they said 20 minutes... seemed more like two hours
(I jest... pushing buttons is a family trait)
Sleazy G was shocked that we finished in front of him
Sleazy G wants to protest!
I am not offering up my birth certificate
his claims are unwarranted
it is not my responsibility to entertain his notion
other racers roll in...
Alleycat Racers and Alleycat Lite Racers roll into the finish
Starvin Marvin is cooking up a storm
to the bartender's frustration
someone brought in a cooler of beers from the DC Brau sponsor
Amos and I tip the bartender generously after we are scolded
manifests are scored loosely
I was good
my manifest was clean
my selfies were good
we have correct answers on the manifest
I had Bruce in most of my selfies
which was good... as Bruce's phone died...
there was food, beer, prizes, and friends
it was a good day
sorry more people were not in attendance
I get it
life and politics
conflicting events
conflicting life responsibilities
GREAT RACE AMOS!
FUN STUFF!
GOOD TIMES ALL AROUND!
at the race finish I was talking with one of the racers
several of the Alleycat Lite participants were deaf
Starvin Marvin's partner and their friend
I approached her and made small talk
when I approached
not knowing sign language
I gestured that she pull out her phone
there is a system of communication where a person speaks into the phone
it writes the text
then like an Etch A Sketch
you shake the phone
it clears the screen
and then the deaf person types their response
it was the basic post race conversation
"What this your first Alleycat?"
"How did it go?
then I told her about three up coming Alleycats
including my Dead City Alleycat
to which I learned... this woman is considering throwing an Alleycat that same weekend
Day of the Dead themed... but with a Deaf Spin
Day of the Deaf would be the theme
Cool!
I mentioned road biker Deaf Ben
and how I had spoken to Ben about a similar concept
we discussed the idea of the two events
and the notion of conflict
I felt that it would be best not to throw the events on the same day
later that night I found this woman on Facebook and sent her a message
suggesting she host her event on Sunday the 3rd
allowing people to do both event
then.. I offered up a few Check Point Ideas
then also... suggested that they do the Third so people could race both events
and then
I offered up some prizes
I have enough prizes that I could offer up an assortment of prizes for the Day of the Deaf event
Dead City Alleycat
Saturday November 3rd
Pro Manifest...
