oh man...
what to say... what to say...
where are the videos from the event?
Paul... Paul Lagoy? Dillard... Dillard... Kevin Dillard...
so many funny moments
all forgotten
it is all a blur
went to Instagram to see if anyone posted so I could share some images to help tell the story
but no... not this time
Sleazy G has a few photos up... not the photos I am looking for to help tell the story...
my phone battery died over night... charging the phone... I can load some stuff to Instagram and snag those
my manifest and a few photos will help to resurrect my memories
well... resurrect would be more of an Easter memory
how about a few photos from Instagram will bring my story to life
yes... that is more in tune with baby Jesus and Christmas
let me take a sip of coffee and take a glance at my phone...
back... posted some photos on Instagram
that should be enough to get me started
RACE REPORT: Dario's Secret Santa Alleycat
it is early December
it is Holiday Season
Christmas is rapidly approaching but it Is still Alleycat Season?
Gabe threw a Birthday Cat last Sunday
and then
Friday of that same week Dario hosted his Secret Santa Alleycat
when the event was announced there was some buzz going about on how to do things as far as the entry fee Christmas presents
I was pushing for a White Elephant Party
thinking we could do a bicycle part themed White Elephant Party
most everyone who bikes has bike parts of value that are not of interest\need to them
these parts that are just lying around could be useful to others
over the years I have attended a number of Cycling Themed White Elephant Parties and found them to be entertaining
so... I tried to push things in that direction
Dario said the method of gift exchange would be determined the day of the race
for people to just show up with an inexpensive wrapped gift
in the weeks before the event I contacted Dario and offered up some bike stuff to make sure that there are enough gifts
as I anticipated that some people would show up without gifts and just pay the five dollar entry fee
so... I assembled a bag of random bike and non bike stuff for Dario
the morning of the Secret Santa Alleycat Dario rode over and picked up a few things
good to see Dario... I do not see Dario enough
I like Dario... everyone likes Dario
the day went the way that my days have been going
the plan was to mix computer time and Uber food deliveries on bike
momentum on some abbreviated books for my DC Bike Messenger Book Project are in the works
the Five Book Coffee Table Series is Expensive
trying to create something less expensive
for the viewer and for me
gotta sell some books... if for no other reason to try and break even
or at least
recoup some expense so it is not so great of a loss
instead of the large expensive coffee table books with many photos of people
I am working to create a Reader's Digest version of each volume
the day rolled past and I had to suit up so I could roll down to the Logan Circle Start location
got dressed such that I was set for the cold of night
when snowboarding there is the notion that you do not want to be too warm or too comfortable in your gear in the parking lot as you will warm up and break a sweat
my layers were selected with a similar notion
I was suited up... good coverage... could feel the nip in the air
yet I was confident that once I was moving
I would be dressed well enough for these winter temperatures
to be safe I put a light weight windbreaker in my pack just in case I got cold
one more layer... just in case
amusingly enough
as I grabbed my All City Cosmic Stallion as the bike for the day
I realized I needed more lights
I had not charged my lights
so... I snagged lights off another bike
need to be better about charging my lights
suited up... phone charged
Helmet - Lights - Pen - Bag
CHECK!
no lock... traveling light
no Red Bull... no 5 Hour Energy Drink...
just filled a water bottle with water
figured that should be good enough
did not like how my body responded to an excess of Caffeine in the Gabe Birthday Alleycat
the bike and body felt pretty good as I rolled down to Logan Circle
the night was brisk
not much wind and no threat of rain or wintery mix
just cold
rolled into Logan and was stoked to see a decent sized crowd for the event
lots of familiar faces
there was a pack of maybe 30-35 people
maybe 20 or so would be racing
nice showing for a post work race in the winter
I surveyed the crowd
who were the horses to bet on?
who were the racers to beat?
Michael Pearce aka Coach aka Cargo Mike would be the horse I was betting on to take first...
then I expected it to be a race for second
Brian Clark aka Bigs would be my choice for second
then maybe Greg aka Sleazy G. for third
Johnny W. was another thought for the podium... until he rolled off before the race start to make his final drop of the day
there were all sorts of people who were Wild Cards
Alex the Map... Chris "Win"... Bob... Vik...
???
the fight for Top Five would be a struggle
lots of fast legs in the park
in this moment I can not provide that list or who was there
if I had taken photos... I could scan the crowd to help my recollection
I thought to myself about the race
maybe if I had a good race I could sneak into the Top Five
just race it clean
create a logical route
knock out that route without error
ride fast but not furious
be quick through the check points
at Andy Zalan's Messenger Appreciation Day Alleycat a few months back I was able to finish Second this way
by racing my race
capitalizing on other's errors
not making errors myself
accuracy before power
time passed...
people socialized as we waited for the final racers to show up and register
No Bruce?
Bruce had called... he was still working and would not make the start
people joked about Bruce showing up late and still landing on the podium
Bruce is an Anomaly
Bruce is a Legend
Bruce is 70 going on 25
I was not watching the clock
it seemed that Dario was trying to match up with his planned 5 PM Registration and 5:30 Start
manifests were handed out in order of registration
hmmm... I pre-registered
I handed off my race entry Secret Santa gifts that morning
shouldn't I get the manifest first
I was anxious...
I wanted the manifest...
I wanted to get started
but I had to wait
I was one of the last people to register
I would get the manifest last-ish
once everyone had manifests in hand
Dario said READY SET GO or something to that effect
but
NOBODY WENT
I took a glance at the manifest
thought about routing it one way or the other
either I would go to 800 K Street or 1730 Q Street first
I marked my manifest with a Sharpie
I started out of the park towards Q Street
looked back and saw no one had left
was I allowed to leave?
still in Logan Circle I paused under a street light and tried to order the manifest
grouped some things in my head
start and finish
knock out the loop in lower NW first
then climb towards the finish knocking out the northern check points
anxious that no one had left the park yet
I rolled back to the pack of racers standing around the bench where the manifests were passed out and asked
can we go... did Dario release us?
the answer was yes
in that moment... I decided to loop it the other way
swapped out my Q Street start for 800 K
yet somehow
I ignored my own intention and went to the Holiday Market at 7th and F Street by the National Portrait Gallery first... OOPPS...
by passing the logical first stop
at my second stop as I snapped a shot of the Ice Rink at the NGA Sculpture Garden I realized my error
piss... shit... fck...
I would have to hit 800 K Street on my return
would need to sneak that stop in when I looped back downtown before going north to Adams Morgan, Mount Pleasant, and then Columbia Heights
that would add more miles and more time
that was my reality
my only hope... that others would make small orienteering errors as well...
down by the Hirshhorn Art Museum cars were moving fast at Independence
I rolled up next to Sleazy G and Fast and Friendly Dave
they looped back as soon as I queued up along side of them at the Red Light
where were they going?
had they missed a check point?
turns out Sleazy G got a call from work
Messenger Express must have had an after hours drop for him
through the intersection and onto the Warf
passing my old office at the Smithsonian at 600 Maryland Avenue
mistakenly I hit the Warf at 7th and Maine Avenue
having me weaving through a wall of people for several blocks on the boardwalk along side the river
I should have gone to the ice rink at the Warf by approaching on 9th Street
no real issue... just not as efficient as I could have been
snapped a shot of the ice rink over my should and took a glance at my manifest before making a mad dash along the river to the ice rink at 3000 K Street in Georgetown
as per usual... I was slower through the checkpoints that I should be if I want to be competitive...
the cold weather had me wearing gloves... to use the phone the glove had to come off... because it was cold... I had to decide to put the glove back on or ride gloveless
for the closer checkpoints I would ride gloveless
for the longer distances like going from the Wharf to 3000 K
I would definitely be wearing both gloves
as I reviewed the manifest with the Wharf Ice Rink in the distance behind me Dario's cousin\uncle\nephew Aaron passed by me
somehow he rolled right past without noticing me
STEALTH MODE!
I left out for 3000 K quickly so that Aaron could not snap his shot and follow me to the next check point
later I would learn that Aaron missed a few stops
he never went to the ice rink at 3000 K on the water in Georgetown
it was a glorious pedal down the bike path towards Georgetown
the lights were vital
it was dark - not all the trail was lit
along the river I was met with memories
my boys were high school rowers at Wilson High School
lots of pick ups and drop offs for rowing practices
the Watergate across Rock Creek Parkway\Beach Drive brought up messenger memories of working for CBS News
staking out Monica Lewinsky at 600 New Hampshire during that whole Bill Clinton "affair"
more history and residents in the Watergate than just the Nixon History
at the Ice Rink in Georgetown Tony showed up along side of me
he was in and out faster than me
I was slow though the check points
needing reading glasses... taking off and putting on that right glove... reviewing the manifest
too much time... need to be quicker through the checkpoints
I caught Tony on one of the climbs up from K Street to M... I was not sure where he was in the race
I was headed to 2040 S Street
the path through Rose Park seemed like the best route
a diagonal
2040 S Street... Dupont Holiday Market at 19th and Q
then 1730 Q Street
funny... I had used 1730 Q Street as a check point in the Dead City Alleycat
they had a 20 Foot Tall Pink Skeleton in their yard for Halloween
it was removed before Day of the Dead two days later
here we are again
Tony showed up as I was snapping a selfie at 1730 Q Street
Tony had missed the Holiday Market at 19th and Q
he asked if it was closed... I said no... you just passed it...
Tony looped back while I went forward
Tony's passing a checkpoint by a block was not as tragic as my having to go nearly a mile to and a mile back from my missed location
I still had to go to 800 K Street
Aaron rolled up... I was not sure where he had been or where he was going
Aaron came from the opposite direction
it did not seem that he was doing the same loop as me
I mentioned 800 K Street
Aaron said it was the Apple Store
I knew this building... it was the Washington DC City Museum some years ago and is now the Apple Store
but... was it 800 K or 801 K
remember...
When headed toward the US Capitol building Even Numbers will be on your right!
when I arrived at in the area of the Apple Store I was certain to pay attention to what was K Street and what was New York Avenue as the roads do some strange things on the map
I rolled down to the Atrium at 800 K Street
I took a selfie
ignored the Bonus Request for a Kiss
DARIO AND HIS BONUSES!
I had read the line that FIRST COMPLETE MANIFEST WINS having me thinking that there was no "TOM FOOLERY"
that it was clear and simple
just do the 13 checkpoints on the manifest
but NO
there were these two bonuses
What would the bonuses do?
I do not recall the bonuses being mentioned in the pre-race meeting
oh... did I listen to the pre-race meeting?
the manifest seemed clear
it did not seem important at the time... but alas no... I should have known it was a Dario Alleycat... the Bonuses are VITAL
in Dario races before I had success with the bonuses and I had been burned by the bonuses
on this day... I should have respected the bonuses
as I was sure to be burned by the bonuses in a Dario race again
I snapped the selfie of me under the misletoe
I should have kissed my hand
no kiss... no bonus... people with complete manifest who rolled in after me would supersede me if they had the bonuses
as I muscled my way back en-route
got back on track
counted the tiers of kegs at 1348 Florida
got the selfie at Embassy Tattoo
again ignored the bonus... Get a Tattoo?
there was a long line for discounted Friday the 13th Tattoos... no time to get a mini tattoo.. no way to get that bonus...
headed to 1801 Adams Mill I saw Andy Zalan going the opposite direction
then encountered Bob at the Holiday Decorations at Adams Mill
scribbled down the ALL I WANT IS YOU
then worked my way to 14th and Park where we had to snag a Christmas Ornament from the display and take it to the finish
in the moment I debated between a large orb or a small ornament
went with the small ornament that fit easily in my pocket
dang... maybe I would have gotten some Dario Bonus Points had I taken a larger Christmas Ornament off the tree
maybe I should have climbed the tree and taken the star off the top of the tree?
maybe that would have given me the Dario Bonus Points to give me the WIN!
who knows... I just snagged a pocket sized ornament and left on my way
then a few blocks north to Gloria's Pupusa... there has to be a Pupusa Check Point
I laughed as I figure the wreath would say what I thought it would say
FELIZ NAVIDAD
okay...
that was it...
manifest was complete
off to the finish at SNAPPY'S on Georgia Avenue
although I had never been to Snappy's before
I knew roughly where it was
the address was the first checkpoint that I went to in the Bigs Couples's Cat in August
simple... up a few blocks on 14th then cut over to Georgia Avenue
tried to take a route that did not have me climbing any hills that I did not need to climb
ah... it was disheartening
when I pulled up to Snappy's there were already a massive cluster of bikes locked up out front
I was definitely not first
A Top Five finish seemed unlikely
being slow through the checkpoints and having to loop back to 800 K Street had me slip back in the finishing order
I brought my bike up on the porch out front
no lock
went inside to hand in my manifest
wanted to pass off my manifest and return to my bike
got my name in the queue
then went and grabbed my bike and brought it into the fenced in back porch area
there were many people already at the finish
beers in hand
already plenty comfortable
as if they had all been there a while
it was not definite but it looked like Mike Pearce got first and then Bigs got Second
not sure where it went from there
racers continued to arrive
it was that classic post Alleycat conversation
"Did you get a complete manifest?"
"What was your route?"
"Where did you go first?"
and
"Did you get the bonuses"
"Did you get get Dario's Dang Bonuses!?!??!?"
Dario started scoring manifests as racers rolled in
it is a process
it takes time
everyone wants to debate and argue that their selfie proves that they were where they claimed to be
I know... I have been on the scoring side of things
it seems everything is up for discussion
when I was scored I felt good about things... I had a complete manifest
except for the bonuses
the bonuses would be the determining factor
FCKING BONUSED
(frown emoji inserted here)
with the manifests scored it was time for the Awards
I mean... for the Secret Santa gifts
Dario gave people an option on how to do things
it seemed there was an interest in the White Elephant
but... knowing that would take more time
Dario went from his notion of democracy back to dictatorship
NO WHITE ELEPHANT!
people would show what present they got
and
if people did so choose
people could trade prizes
as said...
Coach was First
Bigs was second
Sleazy G and Dave P got DFL
everyone else landed somewhere in between
the bonuses got me again
I joined in on the joking chant of BOYCOTT DARIO BOYCOTT DARIO
it was all in good fun
not sure why others were chanting... my guess... they feel that they got burned by the scoring
there was a cooler of PBRs
I drank a few of those
Vik had a bottle of whiskey
I took a few pulls off that
there was all sorts of socializing
it was my first trip to Snappy's
cool little spot
Snappy's may well be the NEWEST addition to the list of DC's Top Ten Dive Bars List!
met all sorts of Gen Z People
as their birthday party for Justin overlapped with our Alleycat finish
it was a good time
an excellent time
good time on the bike
time well spend
great gathering of friends new and old
Thanks Dario!
It was Awesome!
Great Manifest!
I enjoyed the route around the city!
the bonus thing...
that is fine...
Alleycat Chaos!
Alleycat Math!
every Alleycat race promoter has the power to create the game as they see fit
they have the power to score things as they choose
this is Dario's way
I have scored things such that I have been met with pushback as well
that is the game
Dario creates a good game!
Dario Brings It!
He brings the Race
He brings the Party
He brings the People
Pied Piper of Allecyats
Three Cheers for Dario!
Boycott Dario
Boycott Dario
Boycott Dario
ah... just kidding...
not sure who started that chant or why
it makes me laugh
where was Paul Lagoy to capture that moment?
the tale of the tape
the distance and a map
the distance and the map on my Strava include my ride to the start and my ride home
Good Distance for a Cold Night Alleycat
Over 15 Under 20 Miles
definitely under 20 Miles
as my route includes my 800 K Error
that was a mile plus mistake
no matter...
the journey is the destination
the moment is about the moment
it was chaos
it was fun
time well spent
as my prize I got a small finger flip bicycle type thing... maybe a Christmas Ornament... maybe a BMX Bike... I gave that Alleycat Prize to Coach
thought he could give it to one of his kids
it was fun to see the prizes I donated to be well received
Coach\Cargo Mike went for the wrapped box... A Capital Bike Share Hoodie...
I suggested trading it.. he thought he would keep it... cool
Bigs got some Pink Boxing gloves I donated... too small for my hands or his...he passed those off to Erica
and then
Sleazy G got DFL and picked his prize first
Sleazy G grabbed the carbon fork and handlebars that I donated
glad to see those parts land somewhere that the would go to good use
not sure of the other stuff I gave
either it was grabbed or Dario may use the water bottles and whatever in future Alleycats
it felt nice to have Dario's back and help to make the moment better
these events are about community
the community came out for this one
it was a great race and a great party
thanks Dario
only one achievement on my Strava
although I was on my All City Endurance Road Bike
I was not hammering at ramming speed
fast and fluid
pushing it... but not red lining it...
I tried to pace myself
then also
the traffic was insane
more cars on the road than usual
lots of erratic behavior by the cars on that night
Still Working on the Book Project
Need some Cash
I have bills
Support the Gwadzilla Photo Book GoFundMe if you are so Inclined
