photos by Sleazy G's Instagram
except when they are not
it was a Quick-Cat - so - I will try to make this a quick race report
Race Report: Gabe's Birthday Alleycat
it is early December
not sure what season is Alleycat Season
which is fine - I ride all four seasons
I guess all seasons are Alleycat Season!
after a week or two of actually winter weather this weekend past had an upswing in temperatures
weather in the days leading into the weekend were so cold that there had been a moment of flurries
a moment.. fleeting moment
yet flurries just the same
not such on this day
after a few days of wind and cold
the weekend was met with unseasonably warm weather
Saturday was Gorgeous
Sunday was expected to be in the 60's
morning came and I worked on my book
yeah... the book
the book too expensive to buy
that book
the book that I am now creating a Best of Reader's Digest version of
that book that I was told
"you created a book where your primary market is bike messengers... the only thing you can sell to messengers and expect a profit is WEED!"
some scrambled eggs with pepperoni
some coffee
and
picked out gear for the day
I had been over dressed on my morning walk with the dog
tried not to over dress for the Alleycat
ended up wearing knickers on the bottom
then a few layers on the top
packed a then windbreaker shell a few other light weight options so that if the temperature were to drop
initially I had thought I would ride my skinny tire Trek road bike
but no...
my son Dean is using that bike on the indoor trainer
rather than pull that bike off the trainer
I grabbed my All City Cosmic Stallion with its over sized knobby cyclocross\gravel tires
bike... bag... pen...
no lock
even my bag was a small bag
trying to race light
a Chrome Sling Bag on the back and then a smaller side pouch on the hip
the morning had drifted away
I was suited up
noticed that it was time to leave
did not want to be too early
did not want to be late
it was already after 1:00
had to get out the door to arrive for the 1:30 registration
rolled on down to Logan Circle
it was a mellow pedal downtown
tried to get a feeling how the All City was riding
the tires had needed air
hoped that there was not a slow leak in the front
fingers crossed that the deflated tire was due to the fact it been so long since I had ridden this bike
the rear tire was had more air only because this wheel had been replaced and returned to the bike a short time ago
played with the SRAM Double Tap shifting
what a silly system
things worked... but were not dialed in
arrived at Logan Circle
scanned the park for a cluster of bikes and a mass of bodies
hmmm... had I gone to the wrong start location
rolled into the center of the circle and scanned the benches
ah... bikes and bike people
there we go
but only a few bikes and a few people
 |
| A Younger Gabe Years Ago |
there was Gabe -Gabe and a few others
Stems Colin and a familiar face who I do not know were both there
they were there to support... not to race
it is cool when people come and show support at the start and at the finish
but it is cooler when people come out and race
where were the racers?
Gabe and I exchanged hellos
Gabe was feeling what I had felt before
I knew that feeling
as a fellow Alleycat Race promoter I know the emotion of anticipation and fear that no one is going to show up
life is life
people have responsibilities
people have obligations
people have shit to do
where are the people?
it can be hard for people to justify stepping away for another bike event
another race... another ride... etc.
there are DC Bike Parties... Critical Mass Rides... and so on and so forth
I assured Gabe that people would show up
each of us were certain Bruce planned on racing
as well as a few others who were expected to arrive
then it happened
one by one people started to trickle in
Sleazy G... then David P...
Oh... AZ
then Amos
Bruce... then Tony... and then maybe one or two others
there we go... we have a race
a strong top five
and then also
a fight for DFL
good enough
a fight for first
there is a strong contention for the podium
in Dupont Circle there is a bank with a clock that allows for an easy time check
no such thing at Logan Circle
it was set for a 1:30 Registration and a 2:00 Start
we waited to make sure that any would be racers arrived
there was a quick registration
racers passed off 10 Bucks to Gabe
money would go to the Chombo GoFundMe
a NYC Messenger battling Cancer
Chombo gofundme
we registered
then Gabe pulled out a box of cupcakes
everyone had to eat a cupcake before getting a manifest
cupcakes were eaten and manifests were passed out
the manifest was quick and to the point
FIVE CHECKPOINTS - ENDING AND LYMAN'S TAVERN
not a complex manifest
the stops were all Gabe themed
or so it seemed
Urban Stems - One of the places Gabe works?
Columbia Women's Hospital -Where Gabe was born?
Old Lowell School - Where Gabe went to elementary school?
not so sure about 600 Mass Ave.
not sure about The American Ice Company
then Ending at Lyman's
which I guess was Gabe's selection of an Urban Adult version of Chuck E. Cheese
it would be a quick decision
loop this way or loop that way
hitting the Old Lowell School at 16th and Decatur just before dropping back down to Lyman's on 14th Street for the finish
Bruce had been in a panic... Bruce thought he had left his phone in his car...
I offered for Bruce to race with me and we could share selfies
cupcakes had been eaten... manifest had been handed out...
the race had started
someone asked... can we go?
yes... we could go...
Bruce left the park... headed down Vermont Avenue towards Thomas Circle
clearly Bruce was headed to Urban Stems First
I left into chase mode as I thought that Bruce and I were sharing Selfies
I thought Bruce needed my phone and its camera capablities
Urban Stems would work... I was thinking Ice House on 9th and V and then 600 Mass before looping back to Urban Stems and then Columbia Woman's Hospital
then up 16th near Carter Baron
Bruce clearly was working things the other way
I arrive first to Urban Stems where we were instructed to put a sticker on the bike racks and take a selfie
Gabe had stickers made... or had we been PUNKED?
it was nearly impossible to peel the backing off the sticker... humorous chaos...
WERE WE BEING PUNKED?
were the stickers really just little pieces of cardboard
Was someone inside Urban Stems documenting this with the security cameras?
Bruce... then Sleazy G and then Dave P rolled into the alley behind Urban Stems
everyone struggled with the stickers
sticker on the rack - selfie taken
then onto Columbia Woman's Hospital on L Street
I may have been the last to leave
dang sticker!
I was shocked that Bruce went towards L Street into Wrong Way against traffic
instead of taking M Street with traffic
a block against traffic or maybe two blocks against traffic?
sure... but more seemed like too much
we raced head-on into traffic for more blocks than seemed rational
we could see Sleazy G and Dave P not far ahead
this almost made it okay
it just seemed we could have gone faster had we gone with traffic on M Street
no matter
Bruce tends to be right on some of these things
Columbia Woman's Hospital
we arrived at the checkpoint where we were supposed to sing Happy Birthday to Gabe
Video Selfie?
I guess so... I called over to Bruce inviting him to join me in song - turns out Bruce had found his phone - Bruce struggled with the phone - I did an abbreviate version of the song... lots of heavy breathing... sang my verse in one breath
then waited for Bruce to finish wrestling with his phone
Sleazy G and Dave P were already headed towards 600 Mass. Ave
back onto L Street
this time with traffic
we hammered down L Street
I glanced over my shoulder each block to verify that Bruce was still in my shadow
at this next stop we had to take a selfie with a stranger
Bruce was up the block - Sleazy G and Dave P showed up as I was snapping a shot with a receptive pedestrian on the corner
then I was off... I had been trying to work with Bruce, but did not need to as Bruce had his phone and could handle things on his own
allegiances broken
going solo
I was racing... and honestly... I was racing to win...
EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELVES!
from Mass Ave to American Ice Company down the block from the new 9:30 Club
I knew the place
Bruce used Ice House as the finish for an Alleycat some years past
my route 917 V Street was intentionally different from the others
I felt I needed to break from the pack to have an advantage
Sleazy G is faster
I needed to beat him on orienteering
I arrived at the location first
the manifest read something to the effect
"say a prayer"
only because of the Happy Birthday song selfie did it occur to me that this was as simple as another video selfie
Bruce, Sleazy G, and Dave P all showed up
I was curious how they interpreted the task
there was a moment where I questioned my understanding of the task
I was fine with my abbreviated Atheist version of an Our Father
it appeared as if that was good enough
it was basically just past halfway through this quick little Alleycat
this was the final moment
we were all bunched together
I wanted to get out ahead
time to mash the pedals and get to 16th and Decatur
in my head I tried to think about the best approach
De - CAT- UR
3 Sylables
this would be a block past
Crit-ten-den and before Em-er-son
figured it was up north on 16h approaching Carter Baron
just as I had taken 6th and then 7th instead of 9th to get to Ice Company
I decided to take Sherman instead of 11th, 13th, 15th, or 16th Streets
more shallow of a grade
easier climb
Up Sherman Avenue then across a few blocks as I got up to Columbia Heights
in my mind I tried to figure the most sensible approach
it may have been more zigging and zagging than I should have made
pointing straight can be faster
but there are buildings and bridges to take into account
some roads do not go all the way through
not sure of the block
it was onto the start to the three syllable words that I had migrated to 16th Street
as I turned onto the sidewalk on 16th Street I saw Sleazy G was right along side of me on the road
I had wanted to be ahead of him... but I would accept being along side of him to be better than to be a block behind him
we exchanged nods not much more
I was breathing pretty hard at this time
we arrived at Old Lowell School at the same time
a glance at the manifest for clear instructions of the task
took our selfies in a boxer's pose
then we were off
Greg (Sleazy G) was calling out instructions to his Alleycat Partner in crime - Fast and Friendly Dave
this was the last checkpoint before the Lyman's Finish
as per usual they were riding together
but... Greg knew that waiting for Dave might give me that moment's edge that I needed
Greg abandoned Dave
Allegiances broken in an effort for Sleazy G. to take the win!
Dave P was on his own!
Greg went down 16th Street reversing the direction that he came
I took Decatur downhill towards 14th Street
I felt this would give me an advantage
it felt good to be coasting downhill after the hypoxic pedal uphill
then it happened... I did not feel so great...
stomach was giving me issue
body did not feel right
what was going on?
was I having another bout with heat exhaustion?
as I tried to access my situation
Sleazy G popped up in front of me on 14th Street as we approached Arkansas Avenue
we were in the final stretch
Sleazy G less than 10 feet in front of me
I wanted it... but I could not go for it...
we were mashing hard but not maxing out
I feared pushing it
held back - worked on my breathing - doused myself with my water bottle
anxious about how my body felt
my only hope would be for Sleazy G to roll past Lyman's
maybe I could see the Gabe at the finish and get my manifest in Gabe's hands before Sleazy G does
but no... at Lyman's Greg was on the sidewalk and onto the deck to finish first
seconds behind him... I rolled in... finishing second
 |
| At Lyman's Post Race |
then there is a little bit of a time gap
others start to roll in
manifests are graded
Sleazy G had Scored First
Gwadz (me) had landed in second
where would the others end up?
there were manifest discrepancies
there are frequently these issues
the manifest "asks" were a tad vague
or maybe
the "tasks" were up for interpretation
in the Day of the Dead themed Dead City Alleycat last month there were some things that were up for interpretation
the two stops where people needed to snap a photo of the Seal of Mexico had people taking photos of the Mexican flag... which does in fact have the Seal of Mexico on it...
this point was argued by several and I gave it to them"
but
there needs to be more than "proof" that you were there
there is more to messenger work than riding around town and going to a location
the messenger may have to complete a task to do their job
inter library loan - bank filing - court filing - contract signature - etc.
whatever... it is more than a point to point race
there are tasks
people need to complete the tasks
 |
| podium shot - 1-2-3 |
Sleazy G had a clean manifest... First Place
I had a clean manifest... Second Place...
those that followed... manifest was in question
as it turns out... Bruce had fumbled with his phone...
no video of his Happy Birthday Song
no video of his prayer
others had similar glitches
Tony questioned if Bruce was grumpy about his placement
Bruce took a look at the time and decided to salvage his day by heading down to Bike Polo
WHAT!
HOW OLD IS BRUCE?
70?
AMAZING!
these errors had a few people drop down in placement
while others moved up
Sleazy G - Gwadz (Me) and Andy Zalan (AZ)
that would be the One Two Three
Gabe had bags for prizes
Gabe used the Ortlieb Pack he won at the Dead City last month as a prize
Sleazy G wanted that bag on that day... Sleazy G got that bag on this day
I got a Chrome Backpack
AZ got custom bag by Bigs
we hung out... stories of Alleycats past were exchanged
people got beers then I rolled out as others headed in to play some pinball
although I am a big fan of pinball, I felt I wanted to get home and get a read on my body
at Lymans I had a few gag response episodes
something I call Red Bull Rejection
now... I had not had a Red Bull
I had a 5 Hour Energy
after several cups of coffee
at Lyman's had vomited out a stomach full of water
my body trying to rid me of an excess of Caffiene
once home
a shower - some food - and elevating my legs and I was fine
dang overload of caffeine
not heat exhaustion as I had feared
it was a good day
beautiful weather
nice gathering
and
a fun little race
what a wonderful way to spend a Sunday
Happy Birthday Gabe!
had I not felt like crap I would have hung out for some pinball
Nate had shown up... pinball is one of his things...
it would have been fun to get some competitive pinball matches going
but alas no
that is not what I needed in that moment
although it was a cool concept to celebrate Gabe's Birthday at DC's Urban Version of an adult Chuck E Cheese
ah... the tale of the tape
the data
the reality versus the story over beers
curious...
the information is curious
now... I am sure I could move faster
but...
was this data from Scrooge on his bicycle or his motorized scooter?
my Strava shows my full day on the bike
the ride from home to Logan
and
the ride from Lyman's to home
figure the race was 9-10 miles
spoke with Sleazy G
like his photos
respect his photo eye
he and I plan to meet some time this week to talk about some of the images in my books
working on a "Best of" of the DC Messenger Five Book Series
Gwadzilla Cycling themed photo books on Blurb Dot Com
and
The Gwadzilla GoFundMe Campaign
photo of some of the people at the finish
no podium shot
just a shot of the top three finishers feet
that image is shared above
a good day
good crew of people
nice way to spend a Sunday